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like pigs to the slaughter.

You're strange and we like fur
Strange, walking down the avenue
You're strange just the way you are
Strange, always doing something new

© 2003 DEVILROBOTS

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12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010

.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

oily-faced staccato

muahaha.
wed! didn't have OT. could finally meet up with the (belated) bdae girl auyong bro. muahahahas. and our usual gang of course. all there! (and no extras =X)

lunchtime supposed to meet up with pt to pass her the pss2 preview show tix. hahaha. hmm she forgot to bring her phone out and forgot about me! boohoo! hahaha but nvm la, later she swung by my office to collect from me after work. then sw took cab with pt and her friend. cab pool! save $~

mu and ren met at about 6pm to get last minute present and supposed to get cake =X but in the end nv. hahah. nvm ba, we had bbq steamboat! yeah. the place outside I*con there. it's not bad, quite reasonable. the food not bad. BUT ARGH HOT OIL SPLATTERING! omg so oily and so abused. hahahaha. in the end ate plate after plate of meat until felt kinda sick and oily inside as well as outside. hahaha. went home liao damn itchy. ewww.

recce-ed a few places for steamboat before auyong arrived. checked out 4 places. prices about $12-$16.80. one is the tian tian huo guo they always advertise on tv mobile, haha so ex. i*con that one was $15 but worked out to about $17.40 per person after adding the soup base and the service charge etc. was ok. tian tian huo guo is at tan quee lan st, got another 2 around the area too. think liang seah st. whee. i wanna eat ah chew desserts! who wanna join me~~~~ we go after i knockoff from work =X or we can go wheelock, i wanna eat haato ice cream XD yuM~~~~~~

*pig*
(^@@^)

okok enough about food.

yeah~ so funny the steamboat place only outside got the bbq+steamboat. inside all steamboat. we first sat downstairs, shifted upstairs but inside, then finally moved outside =X so mafan XD but in the end... hahaha. we got what we wanted =D but of course! raWr.

after that bought some stuff from 7-11. yummm i finally got the chance to try the moo moo ice cream. hehs. been wanting to eat that since dunno when lah! then auyong and ren bought long island. tsk. hahaha. mu bought a normal drink.

me + mu = guai kia.
auyong + ren = pai kia.

hahaha! so funny!

then we trooped over to the nearby hospital (hushhhh. so quiet) to use the toilet. big big luxurious toilet. but also very very quiet and very scary. actually only ren used the toilet =X she cannot ren3 one. =X

hahahaha ok lame.

shared a cab back home.
hope auyong didn't get any midnight surcharge.
i owe mu money for the cab fare.
hahahaha free entertainment for the cab uncle. auyong opened her present in the cab, then we all kept laughing and laughing and being lame. hahahahaha. got her 2 uber cute undies (green polka dots with a furry apple & a birdy!) stuffed into 2 out of the 3 tall glasses with BUGS crawling on them. fake bugs lah, but imagine u drink out of that. cannot differentiate real bug from fake one den how? HAHAHHA. gross.

today spent the time at work transcribing and typing transcript, then was printing maps from the internet to plan our next makan spot (so bo liao right? i am now the intern welfare/lunch rep. HAHAHHAAHAHA?) gosh. lead by the vast amount of lipids i have XD ya then went for lunch at ljs cos NW craving for it =X wahahahah.

went back, played pingpong. ooo i am improving slowly. HAHAHAH. at least now i can hit the ball with my paddle. but where the ball flies to.. that's another story. LOL. grace give me private training =X then i go back office and kill them. HAHAHAH. aww. got a foosball table at the office also. hahahahaha. noisier than pingpong.

ok so now my office has: pingpong, pool, 3 xbox360, a bar/pantry, foosball. what's next? hahaha.

today after lunch was doing the makan map then VK came by and said i very funny, what am i doing? then she told me the places she likes to go and eat. hahahaha. oh no, i was actually slacking but nvm. LOL. then i did logging for the shoot we did on monday in the studio. fcp batch list out already, think next week shd be editing. then logging the stop motion shoot halfway then about time to go home. hahaha. but damn shiok eh. got kick. ff and rw. ff and rw. ff and rw. over and over again. to mimic the final product of the stop motion sequence. HAHAHAHA. becaUse... it was shot in sequence. XD esp the picnic one. but that one must RW cos we shot it backwards. XD wahahaha then VK walked by and saw the rushes i was logging. hahaha. she gave sy and me directorial power for the stop motion sequences. seriously i think she gives us a lot of responsibility, especially since we've only been there for 20 days? lol. but way cool. learnt from the senior DoP about stop motion also. learning experience. and not as stressful as studio sessions with IO. wonder why. bleahs. i detest IO still. i know the people he target le. me, KL, BY. ooo he loves to scold some people. sadded la. hahaha. rawrs.

oh and was gossiping with NW about guys and their BO! hahahahahaha. awww. shan't mention which guys we were talking about. but LOL! what a fragrant conversation.

guess i had a pretty good day at work.
apart from those expensive global smses.
sighs.
a luxury good that i am trying to slowly do without, weaning myself off.
aye.
see pros and cons.
pros: it's the only medium of communication (people hardly online lor).
cons: expensive.

oh well.
nothing in life is free.
sacrifices have to be made for self-fulfilment and happiness i guess.
emotional stability more important than physical comfort.
at most can sacrifice some aspects to make way.
can eat cheaper food, buy fewer clothes, buy cheaper clothes, etc.
oh man this weekend sure will spend $56+. think i really shall get my sis the watch she has been eyeing.
lol.
she'd better wear it OR ELSE.

kk. time for me to devour my kinder bueno.
=D
night all.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:08:00 PM

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

eating away at me

here i am again, devouring yet another packet of chocolate.
eating and eating.
been eating too much, way too much, ever since i started working.
terrible mood now.
been in a terrible mood since after work.

firstly, i am still fucking irritated with my wisdom tooth.
but it's good aint it? means i derive less pleasure from eating (and overeating) because i have to keep to one side. actually i don't need to, just that the gum there is weird. no pain at all.

secondly, my collarbone/shoulder still aches. wtf recurring pain. i think i aggravated it by carrying heavy bag also. sheesh. but i don't care. let my arm drop off. doesn't matter to me.

thirdly, because of my (over)eating habits, i am probably steadily gaining weight. don't dare to check with Mr Weighing Scale. he always gives me a fake smile before i step onto him, and then he gives me a cynical smile when the scale stabilizes. wtF.

fourthly, today not very happy at work. was too busy to think about it during work but now quite pissed off. with myself. again i am the one without confidence, the one shrinking into the background, the one like a mouse (ALTHOUGH SIZE LIKE ELEPHANT). feel damn useless shit. haiz. but don't feel as bad as when IO used to criticize me. dunno why when IO criticize i feel super duper depressed. here, i just feel nothing, and then afterwards just feel enlightened. maybe it's the environment. but today i was quite pissed with myself because i saw my fault glaring at me and like a bystander, i could do nothing to control this cadaver of mine.

fifth, money issues again. gahs. my sms bill is exploding. and it will be thrice the price i suppose. overseas smses aren't cheap. time to start the 'read-yet-don't-reply' habit.

sixth, feel like i flew ppl's aeroplane today. did OT at work and of course i cannot use my phone in front of my superiors (everyone's my superior). actually can use but i don't want to use. so much disrespect. and we were filming something. and my inbox was flooded. sigh. always flooded. time to stop smsing and start deleting. maybe i should delete like, ALL. so, didn't know mu couldn't meet sharon. and didn't know sharon was waiting and waiting. sigh she also never call me. then i think she got pissed off and/or fed up and left. well.

tell you guys in advance.
anything, don't ask me.
u want to makan, don't ask me.
u want to go shopping, don't ask me.
u want to meet up, don't ask me.
assume i have OT every day.
even if i don't, i finish work late.
can't do anything constructive. not even buying a present.
so just pretend i died or something.
don't ask me to go anywhere or do anything with you.
unless.
you can tahan:
1) being stood up.
2) me appearing damn late.
3) you like going out in the evening just before the shops are closing.

i suppose no one likes any of that.
so just pretend i died.
thank you very much.

i don't even have the time nor space to consider my own feelings.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:57:00 PM

Monday, January 22, 2007

blah.
ask me weird qns with smses few and far between.
let's just say i should stop bothering.
disgusted.

and there is work tomorrow.
oh man oh man oh man.
i got stuff to bring but i can't remember what...

let me set my reminder in my phone.
and i had better get to bed and stop waiting around for that sms that will probably never come, nor the msn buddy who will never come online.

whee.
life is good, no?

a ton to complain.
but no friend who deserves to be squashed by that weight.
the ton is mine and mine alone.

let me die under it XD

argh work in 9 hours.
SDhSHDKGSHKGDSK

=(

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:29:00 AM

Sunday, January 21, 2007

yet another non-existent wkend

whee great. it's sunday already. sunday 1pm. half the day gone.
wish i could just sit here and do nothing forever and ever.
but i can't.
going out with mom in a bit, then going for japanese class, then prob meeting her again go for dinner then come home and it's time to wind down and sleep early because i have work tomorrow. (what's new man.)

ok the preview show is on wed.
wed i had better be able to leave on time from work and pia cab down.

wed...
this wed a niggling ache appeared at my collarbone/shoulder area.
i thought it was the usual 'crack a bit then will go' type.
was trying to crack the crick out the whole day to no avail.
when i went home it got worse.
my mom says it's 'fong sap' leh. dunno if she anyhow say. maybe i sprained it somewhere or what.
thu when i woke up it was better.
at night it was quite horrible.
sleep also cannot sleep, cos when my arm rested or moved, pain. then i would wake up and say 'ow'.
sian.
fri ah.. quite bad but ok. i'm still functional for work la. hahaha. can still help to carry stuff. =P
sat still pain. hahahaha. win liao. but not so bad.
today still pain, but i can lift up my arm liao. ytd lift up cannot lift all the way.
sighz. see how. usually at night more pain.
wonder why.
if i do nothing, it's pain, but if i move about it's not so pain.
raWr.

and my wisdom tooth is half-grown le.
wahahhaa.
it's not pain. but damn irritating!
cos the stupid gum. is like neither neither there.
don't wanna end up like my sis with an irritating flapping gum there ROAR.
but i should count myself v lucky already that it doesn't hurt.
meh.
hope the gum drops off by its own.
or shrinks away.
or smth.
shoo shoo.

and my PIMPLE!
arghhhhh
it was actually a small one that you can peel, and keep peeling off the scab kind.
pity it was located at the top of the bridge of my nose, between both eyes!!!!!
EWWW.
i peel and peel until now it decided to become one of those BLOATED and pain pimples.
SO UGLY AND IRRITATING LAH.
FASTER VANISH!!!!!!!!!

GO AWAY!!!!!!!
GO AWAY UGLY PIMPLE!!!!
GO AWAY IRRITATING GUM!!!!
GO AWAY PAINFUL ACHE!!!!!!!!!

hmm.
mom helped me buy an alcohol solution for my ear piercing.
because i ran out of the one they gave me and then became too lazy to put le.
ahh. stinging sensation is good.
means it is killing some bad bad bacteria and stuff there yea?
hope my ear will be ok by the end of internship.
i wanna wear nice earrings man!

what else did i do in the week...
i met mu for dinner @ kfc.
muahahaha.
i like kfc la.
its one of the best fast foods!
i like the chicken there!
nice oily taste YUM.

ooo i'm such a pig.

FOOD MAKES ME HAPPY (and fat)!
k going to p0m.
gg out soon.

and i haben do my jap hw.
=(

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:09:00 PM

Friday, January 19, 2007

congratulations~

=))
she got through the female finals and will now proceed to the grand finals.
haha
two "Chen"s.
two D's.
one winner.
one superstar.
who will it be?
of course diya!

have faith people.
screw those mad teenybopper guy crazy girls.
i will vote another 10 votes for her.
^^
i want her to win!!!!!

grats diya.
hehe.

today i swear i heard huimin screaming in the audience. or was it someone else =X
kam said she saw Sh(_)nYi

i hope they got tickets to the grand finals.
i wan~~~~~

on another note, my collarbone there is like damn stiff and pain.
just now i became paranoid and thought i was going to die from a stroke soon.
then my sis gave me some of her cream to apply.
a bit better now.
but still aching.
sigh.
what's wrong with my collarbone.

on yet another note, i fell asleep STANDING in the mrt today.
and i wasn't holding on to anything.
i improved!
haha.
all i remember is i was dreaming and dreaming deeper and deeper and suddenly.
i woke up with a start and remembered i was standing in a semi-crowded mrt.
lol.
i think people probably wondered why a girl suddenly dunno do what.
funny thing though.
the guy in front of me was also standing and sleeping.
hahahaha.

look ma, no hands!

ok got shoot fri/sat/mon.
damn damn tired now.
not enough sleep.
was falling asleep at work.
got logging to finish up tomorrow.
did my storyboards just only.
random storyboards.
5 closing seq ideas.
1 for each ep.
ahhh. storyboarding.
faint.

let's see:
finish logging before lunch.
finish discussing props and storyboards before 3pm.
meeting for monday's shoot at 3pm with VK.
6pm leave for suntec shoot with LL at the music school.
maybe tomorrow need to log cam B also for the shoot i went on wed.
tiring.
i'll be flat and dead by sunday.
oh.
bring props tomorrow.
keep in office ba.

k time to sleep.
night!
tomorrow lunch maybe can eat...
eat what?
think have soup.
maybe go have my usual fish soup.
hahaha.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:24:00 AM

Thursday, January 18, 2007

zenzen? kamoshirenai? tabun? mochiron? wakannai?

are you a liar?
are you a flirt?
are you usually sweet to all girls?
wah, it's another case of the more i know, i more i don't want to know.
and knowing more than i need to know.

another unsatisfactory msn conversation.
guess smses are better.
but at 15cents a pop,
i think my bill will explode.
or be like a comet, trailing beautifully before crashing and burning.

fizzzz.

work is crap.
playing the waiting game is crap.
everything is crap.
my shoulder is crap.
my skills in aud are crap.
oh but the new mode is fun.
crazy mode~
shiok.

back to work in a few hours.
disgraced myself at a shoot today.
tml must come home early see results show on tv.
ooo diya pls win.
really hope to see her at the indoor stadium.
=)

small girl deserves big things.
the cute girl with big lungs and a big personality.
and a big heart.

why can't my heart be bigger?
and tighter?
why can't my talents (if any) be concentrated instead of all over the place?

why couldn't you have stayed nearer.

ok no time to sleep again.
damn sad.
gonna sleep with shoulder pain (actually it's the area below my right collarbone.)
and a pinched feeling.
k night all.
more logging to be done tomorrow.
ooooooo faint.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 3:10:00 AM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

delegation

ooo what a sneaky slimy process.
look at the word.
you can find:
TELE
DEL
LED
LEG
TAG
LATE
TALE
LET
NOT
and so many more.
i can make the sentence:
I GOT LED INTO A TAG-TALE LATE LEG GALE, NOT LEGAL NOT A GD DEAL. A LIE?

i know it's not a great sentence, but that's all i can do with those letters.
BWAHAHA. 330am madness.

oooo delegation.
i really wonder if you have the authority to do so. apparently it's work you cannot finish. why you pass it off to other people? not gd not gd.
nvm i shall observe.
if i really catch you anyhow delegating (HELLO? U GOT AUTHORITY MEH?) i will scold you until your balls fly back to USA. bwahahaha.

hmm.
2 weeks into work. and things are a-brewing.

you have the cliques, the fyp alliances, the common enemy, the peons, and the delegators.

those really know how to act busy.
but they actually looking for chances to make themselves stand out while throwing the work behind their backside for ppl to pick up.

----

after work met up with cat.
sigh.
he really...
i can see his heart kinda chipped le.
nvm cat~ jyjy!
dun gib up~

as for me...
can i say Limbo Rock?
stuck in limbo~
flurry of smses.
actually i dunno what i'm replying liao.
hmm.

why sudd u so sweet to me and so concerned and send so many smses?
sound as if you're afraid to lose me but then you never had me.
you were the one who said there's nothing, leave it as it was before.
what?
you want something?
ahh. my sms bill is gonna hit the roof.
sigh.

fri evening and whole sat taken for shoot.
damn damn damn damn
my sunday is half occupied with jap class.

HOW TO GO SHOPPING LIKE THAT.....
sad case.
=(

k la.
what fucking time now.
330am.
later sure.
dead meat la.
dead cow.
dead beef.
moo!

sian.
nightz.

LONG DAY AH.
time to support diya~

supper round 2 after that hopefully.
=))

How To Save A Life The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 3:35:00 AM

Monday, January 15, 2007

contemplativity

why do i know so many cool people but i myself am nothing worth mentioning? ahaha. sigh. well. i guess it's time to go out and do something cool? maybe our lives are so different. i can say i know the chairman of some international school, i can say i know a proj superstar semi finalist, i can say i know a few cool dancers (know 3 le. realised all have the same image..), i can say i know a couple of people in bands, i can say i know damn attractive people who are still willing to hang out with me, i can say so many things about other people, but nothing about myself.

i have nothing to show the world.

well. so take these empty hands, palm up, and give the world something to see! i can do that. i like to do so many things but i excel at none of them. can never sustain the interest to excel at anything. i am the literal jack (or jane) of all trades yet master of none.

i wanted to be a famous singer-songwriter but i stopped playing the guitar, writing songs and singing. triple KO.
i haboured the dream of becoming a famous director, but i realise i suck and the interest cannot be sustained. so i can't.
i like dancing but i am too fat. can you imagine fat jelly wobbling on stage? nuh-uh. so i can't.
even the most basic of things like being attractive, being punctual, being sociable, i also cannot get down to pat.

sigh.

but the thing is, of what i am not, i am me.
i am what i am not.
yet there are also so many things i am.
=)
because i am, what i think i am, is.
i am who i make myself to be.
i am what i say i am.
i am what i think i am.
i am what i believe i am.
i am no matter what anyone says i am.

kay, enough roundabout philosophizing.
think you guys have gone round in circles one too many times.
don't you see the room spinning?

heh.

had my first japanese lesson of 2007 today.
well it was okay.
apart from sitting right at the back in a big class and not being able to see what was written at the bottom of the whiteboard, it was ok.
sat in the middle of a jc1 boy (damn. why so young.) and a 20-something lady working at MES.
and oddly enough, i am a mix of the two.
i am an intern.
so i am a student who is working.
cross breed haha.
and maybe i'm the middle of both their ages.
lolz.

but it's quite a big leap from intermediate to advanced.
suddenly they throw me everything in japanese.
but hey, I LIKE.
give my brain some work to do.
no more sit back relax kiao kah easy peasy lesson.
time to actually study.
hahaha.

didn't manage to go shopping.
i had better go shopping before the sale is over man.
damn.
but the queues to the fitting room are so freaking long.
no mood to shop.
and no one to shop with.
=(

next weekend probably going to kushinbo.
sis' bdae. 18 yrs old.
i'm such a glutton.
i eat so much every day.
yet i see my weight.
stagnant.
lol.
don't eat also stagnant.
what is this laH!

ytd went for hs' bdae bbq at ecp.
i ate one BIG PLATE of food.
audi mates also O_O
and i can still eat somemore.
WHAT IS THIS SIA.
their eyes bugged out wor.
LOL.
fuck man. i'm little miss piggy liao.
shall trot to work on my 4 little pork trotters tml.
oink oink grunt grunt.

lol hs and yw are so sweet.
=)

kinda makes me miss what i nearly had eh.
fleeting fleeting time is fleeting.
have yet to understand the psychology of the motivating factors that made you move so fast.
without logic nor reason.
but ur the wind.
and the wind is only pulled by the environment.

although you sms me nearly every day but for what?
it's not like there's anything to maintain.
and it's expensive.
times like these, i wish i had a teleporter.
wouldn't it make things so much easier?
no more long flights, no more long bus rides, no more expensive travel.
no more turbulance, no more road accidents, no more shipwrecks.
but our molecules might be dissipated into the air by the machine.
that is the risk. no?

kinda reminds me of The Prestige.
hahaha.
the teleporter/duplicator.
well.
guess nothing ever works the way you want it to.
nothing works out perfectly.
guess we all gotta make do.

to err is human.
man-made objects all have an 'uncertainty' error calculated into it.
even if in theory it is perfect, the environment still holds reign over what happens.

so i guess i am making do.
i am happy.
i am healthy.
people come and people go.
just gotta make do.
at least i should have been happy, even for that little while.
if you ask if i regret, i don't.
dunno about you.

your theory: laws of attraction.
when you keep saying smth will happen or appear, it will.
like if you keep believing your work is shit, it is.
but if you keep the belief that something good will happen, it will.
that's your theory.
i call it: theory of convenience and theory of mental motivation.
psychological.
if you take note of something, you will generally find it appearing in more random occurences. or perhaps less than what you thought before you noticed it.
if you keep thinking you can do something or if you want something badly, mentally you motivate yourself towards goal fulfilment.
that's my theory.

even so.
i think that's what happened when you came.

i'd like to give it a chance but seems it's not really possible.
i won't say impossible.
but it's not possible for now.

people did ask me weird questions.
i don't know how to answer.
but the number three is my favorite number.
i dunno if i should bestow it upon you.

...

kinda weird to blog down the indepth version of my thoughts.
shall turn them over in my head when i go to bed.
plays like a stop-motion people movie.
the grainy kind with many film artifacts.
the kind with charlie chaplin kinda music and a description in english at the bottom.
a silent movie.

i replay all the close ups in my head.
and the freeze frames.
and the slow motions.
and the cutaways.
and the flashbacks in the actor and actress' minds.
i am the film camera, seeing things in 3rd person.
although i'm actually one of the characters inside.

so so so funny.
amusing.

more amusing that ffxii even.
more amusing than the random smses you send.

kay. i am off to bed.
there is work tomorrow and i don't need no natural eyeliner.
goodnight.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:38:00 AM

Friday, January 12, 2007

the rain goes on...

bloody cold in the office. was freezing my (huge) ass off. especially after lunch when i was kinda wet from the rain when i got back. did logging whole day. sometimes i think the best approach is to act like you know how to and try to lead and take charge and have thick skin. even when you don't really know how. but if you totally have no clue, then look humble, be thicker skinned and just go ask. eating humble pie is afterall what interns do best. the office also not much hierarchy so it's easier. but i still don't really dare to anyhow talk to the bosses. in fact everyone's my boss cos i'm just an intern. haha. and if you know how to do, just show you know how to, but be nice about it also lah.

sometimes i wonder. am i really nice? pretending to be nice? or what?

i mean, i will do nice things without thinking about it. quite automatic. but is it because i want to, or because it is an automatic response to how i want to be viewed in society? cos i can be quite terrible to ppl closest to me. yet nice to strangers. what is this.

today i offered to share my umbrella with a lady at the bus stop opposite our blocks. hahaha. had a nice chat also. there was a guy also but i don't share with guys =X

today i was called 'sir' by a mcD staff at parklane. LOL. then she was like. oh sorry! then i laughed. i didn't even notice. lol so funny la she.

today i was asked for the time at the mrt station when i just got out of the mrt. hahaha.

today i thought i pissed my colleague off cos cannot decide where to eat for lunch.

yet, i don't feel incompetent at work. i don't feel stressed (yet). it's just like i go there to help them do stuff. i felt more stressed helping out with the FYP Debt. but here it's like they trust u so much. and always see the boss play pingpong or xbox haha. i could get used to working here.

met up with cat today after work.
damn the shitty hall train. missed 2 trains cos too many ppl. 3rd train also very damn squeezy. met him at the cathay then we sat around and chatted for awhile. then went to prinsep to see the place i recommended him to bring the girl he likes for her bdae. =) ok. near his sch and got 10% off for smu students. LOL DAMN SMU LAH. si mao. damn chicken backside =X lol he's so funny. then we ate at macs and wanted to catch a movie but ahhhh well. too late ah the shows. the one i wanted to see also sold out T_T ojisan said it's gd. so well. i wanna watch =X and it was sold out. so it shd b good right? later went to buy A cash ppc. haha. 7-11 only had $30 left. the other sold out. in the end bought from their flagship lanshop. well you guys know what it is. no need to introduce. he bought 2x10k cards. hahaha. then we squeezed into mrt like tuna fish.

yeah. so nice to sleep now.
tml maybe gg shopping with cat.
hahah.
ciaoz.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:27:00 PM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

oOo

hehehs. glad glad glad yet sad sad sad. guess what? pay's in! bad news is, owe money time! sian. gotta pay for handphone bills and japanese fees and ntu fees and stuff. about 1k fly away le. T_T sad.

haha. and i like my new hair. =X
dunno if i blogged about it, but i was so bored on tue i got a hair cut.
not to mentioned i dyed my hair too.
NO MORE BORING BLACK.
(i feel like a VT and timecode. 30 seconds black. 1min colour bars. 20s slate yada yada blah blah.)

quite happy.
sat gg out to celebrate hs' bdae.
sian of wearing lok cok out. (cos i go to work ma)
time to dress up on sat.
maybe can act cute a bit.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

=)

i like working life man.
after work it's xbox360/pingpong/pool/vodka/munching in the pantry/talking cok/meeting friends for dinner.
during work it's meeting friends for lunch.

GONNA GROW DAMN FAT AH!

at work i always eat.
in school i nv eat.
T_T

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:01:00 PM

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

finding a gem

amazing.

just only ytd i was stoning at the advertisement on the mrt train. GEMS: go the extra mile for service.
today i think i just got served by GEMS. hey, don't laugh okay. because on fri i was damn pissed off with a certain company where the accountant was damn rude to me. pissed me off. yet today she called me before i could call her. i was gonna call when i reached the office. and my workplace and that company start same time. wow. she offered to bank in my cheque for me and stuff. nice nice. i was damn surprised and happy. because on friday when i asked if she could either a) mail my cheque to me or b) bank it in, she responded rudely. sigh. today however she was nice. wah she mood swing ah. i just hope the money will get to my bank account safely. not too secure about this bank number thing. because it's just a string of numbers, how to confirm? i wish they would put the name when u enter the bank account number. pls add that in, u bank people! would be damn helpful. but i guess it's also for security reasons? cos if you just randomly enter a number u'd be able to know who it belongs to? hahaha. haiz. the banes and boons of technology eh.

today after work kinda made a sudden decision to go support diya at PSS2 recording. actually it was during lunchtime, they said they were going, asked if i was. well i wasn't cos i dunno how to get tix, but i said if they had tix, i'd go. hahaha. and so they had tix! haha the goodness of having friends working in the media industry (as i am too. lol. we can all benefit each other some day. hahaha.) so rushed my work and nice nice st's fren drove. yep we met up st and sg for lunch. went to fu lu shou hawker center to makanz. so her fren drove us there and we met more cs ppl! hahahaha. as usual MS QUEK screaming so loud. hahahaha. so funny. haiz so lucky la she, she got her fyp group le with zai members. i am like so jealous. Ms Aw SY! do you want me? =(

ya the 2 ppl from MM were me and sw. din know he would go support. hahahas. imo, diya sang damn good as usual, but this time carrie won her! oh noes~! sad lol. but damn glorious moment for carrie. hahaha. after that we went to makan supper at the prata house at upper thomson. lol. honestly, my sardine murthabak was like soggy. thank goodness the saving grace was like the teh cino and the curry. sigh. NOT TO MENTION THE PRICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S LIKE 2 HOURS OF WORK OK!!!!!!!! ZOMG.

lol.
k la, time to orhorh. tomorrow another hell-logging day.
hahahahahahaha.

and ooo, i just love bitching at work.
so excited tml meeting uni clique for lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!
an insanely early lunch.
HAHAHAHAH.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:43:00 AM

Monday, January 08, 2007

every day is a step towards changing my sexual orientation.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:41:00 AM

Sunday, January 07, 2007

reboot
...and a reformat

my new blog song sounds a bit weird. dunno what happened when it was encoded. but nvm la. hahaha. reflects my mood... AHHH WHERE IS POPTART! where is my stress reliever mad ass dancing non stop sweating party! where is my emo night! give me some bubbly!!!!!

couldn't sleep last night again. rocks. love feeling so tired. asdfjhaksjfajkfg. don't wanna play audition again. i think i shall play ps2. much better. i hate mmorpgs! I HATE THEM. lousy pieces of shit. I HATE SOCIALIZING IN A GAME. go inside also see things that make me feel like fuck. and i play like fuck too. can't stand it.

well. i wanna kill a few people, lop off a few heads, brandish my gigantic cleaver, bash a few people with my sledgehammer, run over some people with my tank. but i can't. it's not legal. OH DAMN IT.

ahahaa oh lookies, bad mood returning.
time to go off stick myself in a game or something.
yay tomorrow's work. nv thought i would find pleasure in work. where all i think about is 'when will it finish dubbing?' or 'is this shot an MCU or an MS?' or 'aiyoh what is the interviewee saying?'
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

new year. new slate. clean wipe.

time to force amnesia on myself.

...what's my name again?

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:28:00 PM

oooh yes.
i hate liars and cheats and flirts and jerks.
please go away.
i curse you from the bottom of my black heart.

2007 sucks.
another year towards my deathbed.
another year towards the earth's devastation.
another year to see the sky fall; the tree wither, the people die.
another year to wish i would sink deep into acrid mud and never come out.
another year to stay alive.

.....

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:11:00 AM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

working on a sat

well. i got the matter cleared up. more or less. asked why did you start something you don't even have the confidence to want? LDR don't work. you've tried it before and you're afraid to try it again. and i think i'm incapable of it too. you told me not to try it either. so i asked. how? rhetoric aye? you also dunno how. suan le ba? fang le ta? forget it and leave it behind like the swirling dust behind a beaten, well-travelled jeep? why you start? you dunno also. then you apologized. and why? you just felt like it. on a whim, a compulsive action. compelling you. but then i found out so much stuff that scares me. because you and him are so similar actually. it frightens me. frightens me and disgusts me. somehow i think i would have preferred to let the matter hang. hang like a spiderweb, translucent. rather than expose it and let people dust away the cobwebs. nothing left. i don't feel irritated after it's cleared up anymore. in fact i feel sad now. this sucks. feeling irritated is better. well, it will disappear after i wake up when i go to sleep now. it will disappear then perhaps come back to haunt me at night when there's nothing to do again.

work tomorrow. 4hr30min to sleep. very sleepy. 3 hours of HD lessons at work. will die halfway. so many phonecalls and smses today.

suan le ba, jiu shi zhe yang, dare mo ugokenai. let's stay at opposite banks of the same river. maybe the frail crossing of twine and weed will withstand the test of time. non-committal. suan le ba.

tread gently, my friend.
these pieces of glass are sharp.
i'm afraid you'd hurt your toes.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 3:08:00 AM

Friday, January 05, 2007

day 3

well. i haven't updated about my internship. here it is. am working at bugis. 3rd day today. gonna be dubbing tapes. i like the place, i like the location, i like the environment, i like the people, i like the boss, i like the food around the office, i like the food IN the office, i like the office. muahaha.

demo hoka no koto wa nani mo wakannai. dou iu? iikata wa nani? omoidase shika omoidase shika nai. doko e ittan da?

sometimes i feel like i'm living in a stupid lie where people just tell me what i wanna hear and do things i expect. or maybe it's this overbearing faithlessness in the basic courtesy of human honesty. i've lost faith in guys telling the truth. how? i dunno. started from nya i guess. his is not a lie, just that i was expecting too much and he is quite playful and friendly i guess. i got angry with him ytd tho. cos he said something which i didn't like about ben. different people think differently. anyway he doesn't like to make me angry. he apologized. lol. don't worry i won't stay angry long and his comment wasn't enough to illicit anger. just a twinge of feeling insulted. afterall, ben is like the little bro i never had. cat is like the older bro i never had i guess. but it seems he asks me for advice. so i guess he can be my twin brother. and then you had the people around me and their loss of faith in the species from mars. most recently, a two-timing liar who deserves to be skinned. previously, a wavering 4 yr rship ender who deserves to be chopped. then there was the non-committal hand-holder who ended the rship after committing. how ironic. i see those people, it's no wonder i lose my faith. i dunno if steph or kaze are just saying what they think i want to hear. or doing what they think they want me to do. apparently they like me in some form or another. i like steph as a friend. i like kaze's online personna and him without specs. (lol. oh i am ever so particular). kaze kinda freaked me out. if you've been following my entries, you should know. the whole go meet family thing, the whole 'i will muacks you' thing, the whole liking someone from the internet thing? one thing i don't understand is why would he like someone from the internet. and i am someone who lives quite far away. sg to msia. about 5hrs+. that's impossible. he must be kidding me. still don't believe him. although he's come, he's gone. true to his word, yes. seems like a nice honest intelligent yet innocent guy. admire his bravery? english, chinese, cantonese, even malay, well spoken. family v nice and warm. hmm. similar philosophy. maybe can consider if he comes sg full time. steph. act chao buaya but i think he might also retain that liking for me since 3 yrs ago. i dunno. nv can get any straight answers. anyway it's impossible. usa n sg even worse. will miss him though. like missing an old friend's company. thank goodness for tiny conveniences like msn.

aye i better eat prata quickly. tata.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 7:35:00 AM

yasumi no hi no koto

kaze ni kikitai. shitsumon ga takusan arun da kedo, kaze wa inai. doushitara ii? demo yuube wa, kaze ni kikitai demo kikanakerebanaranai. dekinain. chikara ga nai kamo? kyou kaze ga sagashiteiru. demo mienai. ichinichi juu mienai. demo sms ni okureta. isogashii kamo? tabun. shitsumon wa, watashi tachi wa dou? koibito ka? tomodachi ka? hen da yo ne. totemo hen. hontou no hito to intanetto no hito to, dochira ga ii? wakannai mo. mochiron, intanetto no wa motto kawaiin. demo hontou no hito mo takusan hanashi ga dekite, dekakeru toki mo tanoshikatta yo. demo mitsu ka kan shika nai yo. chotto mijikai jikan de, hontou no hito mada shiranain. douyatte suki da? demo kaze wa, watashi no koto ga, hontou suki da? hayai ne. te o totte, daite...

tsumaranai. kangaetakunai. oyasumi.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:24:00 AM

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

whirlwind

dec hols have come and gone. 2007 is now afoot. weird dec hols. especially the last week of dec. add 1st jan into the mix, totally weird. yet damn happening lah.

3 actors in the play, with the stage divided into 2 sections. there is the female lead shuttling between the 2 sections. however she hovers more often on the left rather than the right side. because on the left side the rope is shorter. but she has a knife, it is easy to sever the rope, but she doesn't. ask her why and she cannot answer. perhaps it is nicer on the left side, the stage is brighter, the set is nicer, the audience is more receptive.

play spans for a duration of 2 weeks. but missing in action for most part. it was only during the last 3 days of the play that the actress came out of hiding backstage. yet she was mostly on the left side rather than the right. but she finished on the right side and took her bow while the applause from the confused audience rang in her ears.

the mystery still hangs.
most people don't know what the play meant.
some say the actress died when it ended.
others say their money was cheated.
no one knows.

is there any way to know for sure?
should we question the actors?
should we conduct a forensic investigation of the stage?
yet there is nothing to be found.
everything is theorized, not tested nor proven.

it's weird.

the more i think the more i dunno.
guess it's better to not think.
stop my guessing, stop my theorizing, stop my analysing.
time to start denying.

wahahahhahaha
k imma deny.
lol.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:31:00 PM

clingy...
why all of them liddat!??!

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 4:02:00 AM

what a freakingly hilarious december holidays.
here's to an even funnier 2007!

cheers~

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 3:32:00 AM

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007

sian lah!!!!!!!!
NOW NON STOP THINKING ABT WORK.
NUUUUUUU!

just got home.
went out all night.
all day all night 18 hours with audition friends.

bunk. audition. talk cock. wait around. meet people. new faces. familiar faces. long time no see faces. JE. IMM. more familiar faces. makan. cartel. falling asleep face forward into food. wrong directions. simei. gene's house. daidee. orange notes. doggie called baobei who likes to lick the sofa. half gone. re-group. supper. egg prata. teh tarik. lame games. home. here. now. feel like playing audition. LOL.

weirdest thing that happened:
a qn someone accidentally asked.
quite a stark heartbeat in time.
i didn't know how to respond.
luckily she read the silence correctly and rephrased it.

how am i supposed to answer your question when i don't even know part of the answer to it?

feel nth. LOL.
I THINK I'M WEIRD.

maybe i'm too tired.
hah.

happy new year all.
^^

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:25:00 AM


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To Do List - JAN
.devote&resolve
.stevie
.jog
.plan for poison

To Do List - FEB
.3rd MUSE
.13th - 16th: HCNY
.jog
.work x3
.plan for poison

To Do List - OTHERS
.make pyong the fox for my sis (bought materials)
.clean my ps2 lens
.read more thought-provoking books
.start writing again (poetry/songs/prose)
.study philo/random theories/psychology
.study business theories
.tidy the place
.actually BUY a swimsuit
.learn how to swim
.bake
.design wall mural for room
.learn how to knit/crochet properly
.print my grad photos

HOSHII MONO
.ryokou
.phD/masters behavioural psychology
.BANANA.BANAO
.shiawase
.yasetai

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