Monday, February 25, 2008

counting down to nowhere

1yr10months to go.
30 days aka 1 month to go.
52 days to go.
5 months to go.
4 months 3 days to go.
8 months 5 days to go.

life is all about counting down towards events.
eventually you'll be counting down towards your death.

but we all live in the illusion that we are looking forward to happy things.
i have so many events to keep track of; i should have gone crazy by now.
but i haven't.

birthdays, graduation dates, examination dates, submission dates, anniversaries, celebrations, finalities, terminations.

43min to tomorrow.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:17:00 PM

why the dith must bathe when the rubbish truck goes on its rounds and other tales

oh shucks. 5am+ and i should sleep but hey! i haven't blogged in ages. so i suppose i shall o_O which gives me 2.5hours to sleep. mmm. but then again, i live on rubber time. *ahem* which is NOT a good thing but ahhh well. it's SEMESTER BREAK! i can do what i want, can't i...? *pouts*

still having a crick in the left side of my neck. the aftermath of sleeping too long with head in a weird position. blah. either i sleep too much or i sleep too little. the extremist that is i.

anyway i hate bathing when the rubbish truck comes. because the bathroom is near the rubbish chute side. but dith, don't you live on the 9th floor? what does that gotta do with you?

erm. 2 words for you. Potent. Rubbish. ah yes. add to that the exhaust fumes of the truck and the fact that smell particles cling better to wet things (is that true or merely my paranoia at play again?) and there you have my reason.

i don't like the smell and i don't like the smell sticking to me. 'nuff said =P

but why do i have to bathe when it comes? Procrastination on my part. or perhaps, fate? LOL. i have fate with a dump truck. T_T oh well. not to mention i have fate with cockroaches and other random pest. omigosh.

ya it's true. while eating tauhui at selegie with some friends of mine, a cockroach ran over my foot D: eeeee. bleah. ok so that's another thing to add to my checklist of 'been there, done that' i suppose. we were made to sit right at the back of the stall in the dark alley because my 2 friends smoke. geh. no, i think i am not going out with them anytime soon. not that i'm biased lah, but i just don't enjoy the smoke and can't quite get along with them. different 'pai4', you know? lols.

anyway a cockroach running over your foot kinda feels like a feather being stroked against your foot. ok, maybe make that a somewhat coarse feather, like that of a ruffled flight feather as opposed to the downy feather of a bird? mmm. but still! gross gross gross. but definitely better than having it crawl up ur pants leg and/or stepping on one barefooted OMG. and yes, been there done that -_-U

goodness gracious me. appetite wonky these past few days. gonna become the incwedible bulk. T_T keep eating and eating and eating OMG. my digestive system can't keep up x_x so i had to drink green tea to help chase all of the toxins away omg. and lol, the green tea is like a SOUP. mom bought this pack of real green tea leaves, and she don't have no strainer nor teabag. so it's like, practically like vegetable soup. with the leaves and the stems floating around in it. ya, like sa-yong-chai soup. lololol. so i was drinking green tea and eating the leaves. leaves are still ok, i don't like the stems =X but still, eeee. but it's a good tea =D

what did i eat this weekend...

SATURDAY:
shared mixed grill with sis
few pieces of siew yok
teh c siew dai
medium cup of tom's palette ice cream (applepie+chocstout)
quarter portion of nasi padang with rendang/veg/asam/ikan
one-third green tea ice cream (oh this stall not bad! got student discount also)
1 bowl tauhui
1 butterfly
half a yew char kuay
1 porteguese egg tart
1 glass red wine
6 sodapia biscuits

SUNDAY:
"breakfast" mom cooked in the afternoon for me, consisting of russet potatoes with light sour cream and chives, sausages, grapes, and i forgot what, but it was good!
zichar @ the usual braddell kopitiam: hacheong gai (prawn paste fried pwak-pwak), prawn fritters, the tofu in the egg gravy with seafood, sang mein (? the crispy noodle right? LOL forgot the name), kolo yok (sweet sour pork. YUM), ngao yok kai lan (beef and that veg). omg. finish eating that still can go to the 2nd street cafeteria (the botak jones one) and eat 2nd round x_x
of course the dessert stall is manned by the flirty man! LOL. my sis says he got some aura that disturbs her. hahaha i just think he is HUMSUP. =X but his brownies are nice. strawberry brownie and belgian waffle with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream, all for $5.60? mmm.
of course the teh there is cheap too! 60c waahaha. and the teh peng i think is 80c? cheaper than NTU sia omg. but the teh peng at canteen 2 still is the best la. so DAMN SWEET and THICK which is mmmmm! good =D~ shucks, craving tea now~~~~~ good thing i'm gg to sch tml. can go eat panna cotta and drink teh peng =X but different canteens -_- sigh.
oh, and i drank frozen lime margarita. *burp* dunno why this time drink until kinda seh-seh. OMG. siao liao. seriously... been eating too much. @_@ time to cut down! but before that~ i need to eat the international buffet at Vienna restaurant THEN i can cut down. HUR HUR.

oh i almost forgot. went to the E2max cafe at the cathay on saturday. didn't know they had red wine. hmm $12 for 2 glasses, i think quite ok? that J always like to drink wine. during exam also bring wine. wtf. contaminate the whole hall with the wine smell, some more sat in front of me, gave me a headache during the paper =( J if u read this, FEEL GUILTY. ROAR. but then again, i know you won't -_-

anyway the E2max cafe has a tv in the middle and it's open air and connected to the tv is a Wii. LOL. a bit the waste space. or rather i think their space too little. but it's quite cosy. EXCEPT there was a cockroach also!!!!! yucks. i hate them! shoo shoo! =( as per usual, sat there bitching to J about random stuff and people. LOL. ran off to meet him cos very sian meeting the 2 ppl before that because i have nothing to talk to them about that's mind-grasping? mmm. different level of understanding and social background i suppose X_X but who cares =P i only wanted to see the boiboi WJ but he had already left! awww... because he was kinda disappointed to see one of them suddenly smoke when all along we never saw him light up before. geez.

smart small boiboi knows how to identify bad influences =)
that's good.

and OH before that i was at suntec with mom and sis (omg i'm blogging backwards it seems) cos sis wanted to attend random NTU courses talks. blah. i was dragged into some biochem/bioengin talk +_+ but i saw her friends and my juniors at the booth for my course. wahaha. but i dunno them also, just anyhow talk cok. cos i'm bored! lol. and her friend (sis') actually believed i was her friend and not her sister. in fact she refused to believe that i'm her sister cos either 1) we don't really look alike or 2) we look the same age.

eh frankly the novelty of me looking young is kinda wearing off? i'm like So SIAN now when ppl remark i look young and then my mom or sis interjects and says something passably stupid? mmmmm. yup even good things can be tiresome. alright, i look young, it's great, it's awesome. full stop. ok can we stop talking about that? thankyou.

gosh i'm gonna be 23 this year. it's almost scary.

all growing old, moving on, moving out, moving up... changing... scary. sigh! i don't like this. what happened to the time when i was 3 years old without a care in the world except my chronic falling down leading to skinned knees and bleeding lips? bleah.

back in the day when i looked like a cute little boy! omg. the picture of me is so cute. HAHAHA. when oh when did i have a sex change? =P

hohum. gimmicks gimmicks novelties. the make-a-bear shop is like the biggest and emptiest novelty shop i've seen. so you just choose a bear skin, the clothes, a sound to put in, some accessories and then watch it get stuffed via a machine with stuffing (OMG BEAR INNARDS) turning inside. damn waste money can? see all the spoilt kids hugging their new bears. granted, it's nice lah. but then again, if you really want a custom-made plushie, catch me in a good mood and be on good terms with me and i might just acede to your request =P mine got personal touch some more. and uniquely one of a kind.

so booyah to substitute goods. although their concept is a bit interesting lah. i still like the rude drunken bears series though =P vulgar, nonsensical, hilarious, rude yet cute. hurhur. edgy stuff ya? melikes. no edge = no character = no charm. same goes with people. =X

and damn damn damn, the pangya series 2 not as cute as series 1. but i did get kadie! unless someone else wants her =) and roro, but i think roro not as cute. looks too generic street-fighter-ish. hohum.

couldn't login maple for the past 2 days. felt kinda deprived. finally resolved by a maple guildmate and thus, i had to change the virus protection software i'm using because there's a conflict with the current one and maple. eeee. more specifically gameguard.

anyway the new training spot is damn SHIOK. and like all spots, once you get used to it, you will start to save pots and enjoy it and you can relax =P ari ki darling for introducing it to me XD else i think i'd be cursing fire drakes for not dropping me steely and yet still i level so slowly. or cursing mushmom for staying too long in her house =X wootsa. 20-25% per hour. omigosh. can'tgetenoughcan'tgetenough but in the end i logged off, wanting to sleep but YET, i am still blogging and it's already almost 1hr. O_O" wow do i have so much junk to type?!?!? crazy.

sorry lah, brain not being used much creatively these past few weeks, let alone months. the only time when my brain actually whirrs is when i'm depressed or emotionally unstable, aka resulting in creative yet neurotic entries. surely that's not good for one? =P feel so mundane OMG.

just one more month and it's time to throw in the towel for real and start intensively looking for a job or doing something more meaningful with my life. maybe get that brain oiled and juiced up for it to work properly again. i am not me without my brain. i am not DITH without my brain. so i need it.

this week looks daunting.
what with creeping deadlines for fyp submission, report to be done, editing later, shoot on tues, more editing on wed i suppose, start to prepare for tutorial presentation for my film class and also start thinking of topic ideas for term paper. catch up on all my readings, start eating like a normal person, focus my mind on work and only work (dang!) amongst other things. but WHINE. i wanna watch so many films/plays/etc.

why do i always lose my movie kakis for some stupid reasons?
if not the army, then it's falling out with that person, drifting apart, no time due to commitments like school or gf or bf or work...
sigh sigh.
but i can watch movies alone. =) and i have. but lazy la.

slew of birthdays this week. lols. why so many people born on 20-something feb? there must be something about this time of the year. but i like pisces. especially the monkey pisces! and i know 3 of them! hehe. =)

do people have an aura?
a chemical signature?
a brain waveform?
a specific communication channel or wavelength?

the way i communicate with a person varies, depending on the person. no idea why. i always seem to adjust in some way with different people. maybe i am the ever-evolving dith. maybe i am a brain-shifting amoeba. maybe i am more sensitive to the brain's chemical signal? beats me.

i seem to be more coherent with some people, and less with others.
some people bring out the best in me, while others leave me deadpanning.
so if we click, i will know.

but then again, sometimes there's a connection yet not very well expressed in person. ok i think i've lost a few people here. sis going to work now, i should go sleep la, it's 6am lor omg. all the teh gao in the world won't save me.

night all!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 5:05:00 AM

Thursday, February 21, 2008

time to fight another war later.
fight a war with my bed.
fight a war with fyp.
fight fight fight.

tired soldier not enough sleep. OMG.
sure die in the war x_x
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:15:00 AM

THE STORM IS OVER.
i really couldn't live properly if i didn't have enough time for myself.
(:

shoo all bad things SHOO!
glad to be drama-less.

:D
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:11:00 AM

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

i will not sit on the fence anymore.
i can't do it.
it was so obvious all along.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:56:00 PM

unwell

yappa, it's another depressing year. gets progressively worse.
things are all failing me. my comp, the internet, my handphone, people, and even i am failing myself.
more disappointments lined up for the future, i'm sure of it.
i forsee one that will hit me in the face soon.
but i'm expecting it. gals are intuitive afterall.
hit me ba. until i cannot stand. cannot see. cannot breathe.
i'll just take everything full-blown and frontal.
sucker punch to the face, and i'll keep my eyes open.

but i could understand it also.
just hoping for a compromise in any case.

so many rotting things in my life.
my rotting flowers.
my rotting gum. (or so it feels like)
my rotting mind.
my rotting soul.

everything is rotting...

and i'm going nuts nuts nuts.
thinking and thinking.
one moment i want this, the next moment i hide from what i want.
one moment i deny it, the next moment i blatantly announce it.
one moment my heart beats, the next moment it stops.
it's the same as i've ceased to live.

at least, the only consolation is that life isn't so boring with so much melodrama in it. of course, at the expense of myself, the female lead in my psychotic life drama. i'm the actress, i'm the audience, i'm the catalyst, i'm the climax, i'm the beginning, i'm the end, i'm the diva, i'm the starlett, i'm the stage, i'm the floor.

going insane and words are spinning out of control like ribbons and ribbons of cotton candy and yellow trees. find the sandman in the treetops with the cheshire cat and they grin grin grin at the evil bunnies below ransacking my picnic. no no no don't touch the cheese! the rat will get me if i lose his cheese.

stare blankly into space, paralysed by so many thoughts whizzing through my stagnant mind. i see everything yet i don't understand what i see. they see me clearly though, and they huddle over me chanting in hushed voices while they thread an invisible silk strand round and round my torso until i am cocooned.

what will the future bring?

so much uncertainty.

is it just my paranoia talking to me?

with every end, there's a beginning. and for every beginning, there has to be an end. i hate starting off when i'm so used to something. you can't just wipe the slate clean and pretend nothing was written.

i guess retribution knows his place.
maybe he's come for me with his cheese knife and the rat with the tail whip.
maybe he's brought his friend karma along.
and they want to roll the coccooned one before the jury.
where's the judge?
all he does is throw two dice anyway.

the silence is deafening.
the silence before the jury comes to a consensus.
and i can't hear words anymore; just a nonsensical roaring in my ears.
the place, oh! it spins.

and then suddenly, i forget my name.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:47:00 AM

Sunday, February 17, 2008

zi ji hai zi ji 2

me and my big mouth. if only i hadn't offered i can sleep long long and go out late late tonight. oh well, what's done is done. tahan awhile i suppose. but i'm very sleepy! feel i need a week's rest.

how can something scary be nice? mmm. paradox in itself but it does exist. remember, one man's meat is another man's poison. and things can be multi-fauceted.

movie craze lately. as if sweeney todd wasn't enough. jumper quite nice man. the effects must be like HELL to do la. post prod is massive. but quite good, save for the ending. think it's a trilogy la.

eyes are closing. should i go sleep or go mull over random stuff? either way, i will mull myself to sleep. thus is the dith.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:42:00 AM

Saturday, February 16, 2008

SIAO ah, dith?
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 8:22:00 AM

zi ji hai zi ji

and the tides will change and hit you in the face.

but sweeney todd was a disappointing watch.

it's because of the script, nothing else. in all other areas, i'd give it near perfect scores - the set design, the costumes, the props, the makeup, the acting, the effects, the camera work, the cinematography and the directing, although some actors can't really break out of some defining roles. like johnny depp still reminded me of jack sparrow when he flashed his razors, alan rickman still hisses professor snape and sasha baron cohen is well.. borat-ish.

i love tim burton, don't get me wrong, but this was a dish as dour as a murder gone wrong. there was no inflection of emotion, no stirring up of my soul, no connection. i'd daresay it's a carnival of freaks eating freaks, showcasing cool blood spurting effects and knife skills. the only part where i felt something was 1/3 into the show.

thank goodness for free movie tickets!

i do hope jumper doesn't disappoint as much. gonna watch that tomorrow. maybe i'm on a rampage for escapism. maybe i'm looking for sorbitol. either way, i won't sit around and have life flash mundanely by! just like the way i think about stuff, i don't think in a straight line; instead i meander, touching on various other random (yet hopefully interesting) things before i reach the end point. i'm not long-winded; i just tend to think in a different way. if people usually think clockwise, i think in an anti-clockwise manner. i hope you do understand what i'm saying.

life is too short to sit around waiting for things to happen. i'm getting out there and getting my feet wet.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:08:00 AM

Friday, February 15, 2008

:D :D :D
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:09:00 AM

red-lettered day

literal and not literary. so much red everywhere. red flowers, couples wearing red shirts, red hearts, red balloons, red candy... didn't help that i was wearing red stuff too.

but i gave out brown paper roses and cloth red ones! haha and my sis took one from me too, to give her friend.. maybe i should go sell them. but i think no one will buy la. workmanship so bad =X anyhow scotchtape anyhow sew also.

went to sch. yup, editing. david was there though. wawa so unsuspecting, keep thinking i wanna ask her do dunno whaT cos i kept asking her where she'll be etc etc. LOL.

i may not be able to give a big bouquet of flowers with a soft toy, but i made small flowers with my own two hands. self-subsisting, they don't need water. :D

thinking what to do now. but i guess the answer is clear and always will be. i will not budge from my original position as i always have been. but it's always tempting to gravitate to new things, where attention will be lavished but will quickly drift to other objects of interest. yup, such is the uptaking of different projects at random times, half completed, half conceptualised. am i the stability that some look for? perhaps that is why. i -do- know myself. i -do- know why. but i always second guess and third guess. guess you can't stop natural progression and also regression. lol.

later sweeney todd at vivo. free passes. =) can't wait. but today is a bad day. ugh... but better today than later. but also better never than now. lol. i hate it.

staring at fried rice beside me and my messy table and my flowers. feeling very tired... oH, i was supposed to continue the narrative entry. yup.

liang court. why some people make such a big fuss over going there. must go also go so long. i say got 143 liao. made me doubt myself and indeed ended up walking until so freak far. but i'm alright with walking.. on other days. some people make such stupid and inane comments. i told the final straggler who was with me ytd. but it's true, not the first time i know him, stupid inane comments. felt irritated. oh btw went out with ki darling, wen, gene and darren ytd la. two extras! one lamppost and one stupid inane comment-maker. zzz. this and that and what also must make comments. pls la, damn disgusting. think the other guy is better behaved also, although well-reputed for being obnoxious and notorious. but people do have an image they like to construct. wen looked v nice in her black dress! *jealous* lol. i never wear so nice D: so happy to see ki darling also! swapped flowers, haha. purple rose~ deep red rose~ =) of course the guys get nth! they nv even give flowers out of courtesy. plus the inane-commenter invited himself -_-z

dunno why they nv slash the prices for sashimi! unhappy unhappy. heartbreak. but ate nice curry udon and as usual i'm the last to finish. =( hmm, dunno why some people spend money also like water. very wasteful. i see liao i get puzzled only. but i look around me and there they all are. extravagant. even ben spent $119 on an elle wallet for his gf. scary! really building on the capitalism thing. but hey, it's good to capitalize on such a day. people are smart. the business is good. except for idiot flower hawkers pushing flowers when it's so obvious we already have our own! zzz. should have carried them in my hands so more obvious.

what happened to have a nice simple yet sweet day out? wanted it to be nice but idiot people making stupid comments really threw my mood off. you don't like, you complain so much then you come for whaT? never invite you also. what happened to you, used to think you were a much better person. but you have imploded, like a pimple, into pus.

zzzzz.

but anyway, learnt a lot about people as always. through observation and yukkuri kangaeteita. people are such odd creatures. the dith never fully understands this race.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:15:00 AM

Thursday, February 14, 2008

flames

and thus, sniffling and dragging my runny nose along with its leash, i made my way to dbg mrt. what a fright i got when i reached the NEL side. as always, i'll let the pictures speak for themselves:


coming down the escalator, minding my own business...


wha.. wha.. what the fuCk?

scary. swarms of people.
couldn't even get off the escalator.
thank goodness people were milling around the escalator part mostly. at the back, it was much better although still kinda crazy. turns out the trains were delayed cos of some technical fault and throngs of people just kept coming down the escalators... like a waterfall lol.

classic. the station master couldn't even announce to us what was wrong properly. he used words like "will be delayed for (pause) unknown minutes" and while he was telling us the reason for the delay, there was much hesitation in his voice and many erms and ahms and pauses before he coughed out a "technical fault". sounded suspiciously curious though. like trying to explain away something. hmm. and also once, while he was about to tell us the reason, the PA system was cut off for quite a long time. lol. oops? guess they were also panicking and wondering what to do in this mini crisis and they didn't know the reason also ba.

was late meeting J at "cluckey" but not rushing also la. found the whole thing very entertaining. even my nose was entertained, so it stopped running and i could untie its leash and tell it to "sit".

finally train came.

LOL all that drama to go just 1 stop. was considering walking or taking 143 but somehow i didn't. some people might consider being in this situation unlucky and a case of bad timing. me? i think it was damn good timing. because you see ah, earlier on, i was waiting at the bus stop and realised i forgot to bring down the discount coupons i wanted to give J, so i went back up. i was half expecting to miss the bus when i came down again, but when i reached the bus stop, it just came. cool!

so, being one of the many in the big horde of people was my privilege that night.

anyway, central mall is a fucking maze la. imagine 1yr+ ago it was empty, like ghost town. at most 5 shops open. now so many shops, looks overcrowded, and also flooded with people. design sucks, so hard to find things. took me like 10-15min to locate MFM on the 2nd lvl. boo! and took me 5-10min alone to FIND the way up to the 2nd level. double BOO! but it's a nice mall, i'd go there again :D

lol. ironically stupid i know. but people are like that ma, san see hang. like new things, even new toilet also like. =P

anyway, flaming platter always fun to watch. treated J cos his bdae. and we sat at table 13 too! cool~ and i guess the patrons came with the delayed trains. because when i reached, MFM was half full. but 15min later, there was a huge queue outside the restaurant o_O wow =X

saw many people celebrating early vdae. and saw young girls selling flowers by the streets. i should sell flowers too hor. because i just made some and i think quite saleable ok! lol, one of them asked J if he wanted to buy flowers. wahahhaa. actually flowers are a nice novelty, but don't want people to get wrong idea. =P then again, as long as ur own conscience is clear, it's fine. fyi, i won't have feelings for an ex anymore =P that's when you can call it a platonic friendship. actually i just realised, 13+13=26. and that's his bdae+tablenumber=age. cool~!

wow so many cool things today. i'm overwhelmed. hmm and a friend who said he would avoid me suddenly msned me too. very... interesting.

oh! and also another cool timing thing. was wondering if could catch haato ice cream at 930pm cos they close around there and by the time we walked from central mall to liang court, it would be that time. but they were open! so got my macha azuki ice cream :) bdae boy's treat this time. ahaha. anD! i managed to get the sea salt (non iodized) for my mom from the supermkt too! ureshikatta. my mom also happy. (maybe won't need buy her bdae present liao, just say i buy her sea salt for her bdae LOL cannot la, so el cheapo =P but technically can cos she won't mind XD) and mom got me and sis vdae nougat too! teehee. and she bought my dad his favorite anpan XD

okok~ show you guys the flowers i made, although my phone cam doesn't do them justice D:
oh well.


rocks, the things i manage to scavenge from home. didn't manage to get anything while i was out. almost thought i couldn't do anything. only bought 2 boxes of chocolate. but at home i found brown paper! and my mom told me she had recycled wire ties, so she donated those to me. so i started making brown paper roses. but tHeN!!!! i was digging around cos i knew i had a bamboo basket that i got from daiso. but i also found red cloth and red cloth bias! so i took out my needle and thread and made red cloth roses too! but by then 3am, very late liao, only made a few.


the wonders of NOT throwing away your junk. HAHA. and lots of improvisation and luck =P

anyway, have a happy valentine's day all!

gomen na ki darling, u gotta share these flowers with kaze =p
he'll be getting the spiritual part but the physical flowers will go to you~
the 2 best ones ok! creme de la creme!
(now you know what i was doing on msn but seemed afk =P)

k! time to NAP!
later got EDITING and then SASHIMIIIII.
LOL and mom just woke up.
OOPS. shimatta~

good mood ^_^
feeling inspired and creative wheeeets!
wonder if they'll write about train delay in papers?
(die i don't feel like sleeping)
(oh and i said in prev post, you gain some you lose some? altho i have super slow browsing speeds and improved torrent speeds, it sucks when i can't surf net or always get dced from msn. BUT the thing i gained today is a good mood and my nose stopped running. although i suspect tml go edit sure catch chill again D: ahh well. the balance of life.)
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 4:47:00 AM

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

sneezing and sneezing.
think i caught a chill from staying the edit suite ytd. but how else to do work?
tons to do tml.

anyway i'm so happy!
tweaked settings so am now able to BT at 200+ whoohoo.
cheh, port forwarding is easy =P just sounds hard.
all things can be learnt in this information age. it just depends on yourself if you wanna go find out and learn or not.
true, we do get lazy, and many things we don't need to learn.
extraneous info will only clog the brain.

but i do dislike people who don't want to go and learn how to do something.
or learn so many times also never bother to learn properly so still dunno how to do.
then again, am i guilty of such?
sometimes it depends on the teacher too.
if you reluctantly impart your skills, your student will not learn as well.
both parties will get irritated.

there's so much in the world to learn.
but of course, some things not only knowledge is required, but skill.
not everyone can become a doctor or a pilot or an engineer.
everyone can learn but cannot specialise or be proficient in everything.

suddenly i feel very entry-level.
is there anything i am proficient in?
i need a defining skill, something that will set me apart from the horde.
i need a USP to drive myself into the reaches (riches) of the dithstance (distance).

all i have now is a sniffly nose and a woozy mind.
a few things to do now but don't know what to start on first.
always like that.

like waiting for the sneeze in my nose to be expelled.
but it's stuck!
constipated, much like the ideas in my head.

and saying thus, my dl speed plummeted to 10% of its crowning glory moment just now.
geh.

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the geek factor

recently a friend on mine told me on msn that he likes this chick from a forum. he digs her, he says, because she is into geek stuff and of course her forum avatars are like shining beacons in a male-dominated forum. does help that she's pretty and has nice pictures of course.

it intrigues him, he says, because it's very rare that a pretty girl would be into technical/computer/geek stuff. but why not, i argued. i know quite a few girls like that.

the thing is, why do guys dig chick geeks?

that's the age old question that i still am unsure of, much like how men can't understand women (or so they claim. i think understanding women is akin to understanding people in general), or why weirdos (most of them) are attracted to dith.

thus my friend explained how happy he would be if he and his girl could take a stroll in SLS, hand-in-hand past aisles of harddisks, motherboards, graphic cards and such.

i guess it's not a mystery really. much like how people tend to like other people who like similar stuff or enjoy the same thing, because guys tend to be more geek-inclined, they like chick geeks or gamer girls.

i wouldn't label myself a chick geek nor a gamer girl. wouldn't label myself a rock chica or a chiongster. neither would i call myself a bookworm or a food critic.

i'd like to be a little bit of everything. there's beauty in the variety...

suddenly lost my train of thought. think it's because the internet aint moving at all..... gain one thing, lose another.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 5:17:00 PM

Saturday, February 09, 2008

finally

last day of shoot (official 'last day', but might have pickup) has come and gone. relieved? happy? exhaustion catching up with me? hmm. funny how i didn't feel much. more like a sense of now i can finally sleep. today i can finally sleep! shoot always makes me fed up. dunno the people or just the general shoot. shrugs. but i never got so riled up on shoot before. ho hum.

felt like i was smelly smelly when i took the bus home. but later when i got home, my mom said i still had shampoo smell. amazing, considering i didn't wash hair nor shower! LOL omg. shhh. no one must know =X (i woke up late la! pls forgive me for polluting =X)

oh ya this blog is not for ranting. so i shall just do a general update.

chinese new year was alright. the usual reunion, minus me after dinner. geh. it's like so pig lor. go there makan, lou hei, then run off. haha but i did have an excuse. i had shoot.

very tiring the past week has been. although it's supposed to be cny, i've been filming. like 4th feb until 2+am, 5th feb until 5am, 6th feb until 2am, 8th feb until 1pm.

i don't ever wanna film in a nursing home. i don't ever wanna film in an alley. i don't ever wanna film in an uninhabited building. but the experiences gained with always stay with me. can say i learnt a lot of camera stuff on the job. what a waste i'm not planning to pursue this field.

think it's been like 13 days of shoot? unlucky number sia. efficiency level is like 2minutes shot per day. omfg! sigh.

went out with mom aunt and sis on 7th. ate some odds and ends. gawd i can't take rich food. makes me feel ill. poor ppl's food is still the best! i'd rather drink a clear light vegetable soup than a chokingly rich smoothie any day! rawr. the food was nice la, but too rich. can't eat much else feel very clogged and choked.

still craving flaming platter from manhatten fish market!
still craving salmon belly from liang court!
still craving curry udon from liang court!
still craving haato macha azuki ice cream from liang court!

conclusion? i should go liang court. hahaha.
suddenly also feel like eating cheesecake at changing appetites.
as well as their food.
OH and frozen lime margarita from botak jones.
and the neverending lust for A&W A&W

omfg omfg omfg.
FOOD MAKES ME HAPPY.

random encounter with filipino on holiday who called the wrong number. dunno how ended up exchanging smses which ended abruptly. perhaps i am insensitive or dunno what. the breaking of contact gives a rather uncomfortable feeling yet sparks a sense of curiosity. such is the recent event that has also resulted in a person breaking contact with me.

can't you handle rejection? friends also cannot be? goodness me.
anyway it doesn't matter. soon will be another forgotten matter i can laugh over and recount many times down the road.

totally unexpected things would turn out that way. ho hum. but then again, it's the unexpected twists and turns of life that make it all the more exciting, innit?
aight, i had better sleep soon. reactivated my facebook account as i now have more mood to be socially networked. uploaded some pictures there. i'm lazy to upload it here. lol.

and i'm very sleepy! can't level my char to 61. =(
straw dolls give a hypnotic effect @_@
k bed awaits. night!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 3:12:00 AM

Saturday, February 02, 2008

stalker me

today reached tpy int. then quite bored and hungry. plus waiting for bus. then very late already, so was thinking what to do.

then i spotted this guy in my bus queue. the pattern look so similar to someone. maybe look younger though. so i sat somewhere near and was looking at him. sure enough he turned behind a few times. hahaha.

then on the bus, he got off the same stop as me. so i followed behind a few steps, pretending to be occupied with my phone. then he also crossed the road to the same block. so i followed. then at the lift lobby, he was in front of me... luckily he held the door open while i dashed in, nodding my thanks.

usually i don't like to share lift with people. wahahaha.

so anyway i found out he stays on the 19th floor.

ho hum.

another adventure! rightttt. much ado about nothing la. just bored, thinking of something random to do.
right now it's time to eat! hungry hungry.
went to help out at the 4peis event, ViBes'08 at woodlands. quite a nice event, just that the weather turned bad.. and wet. but not to be dampened (pun!) by the weather.. the event continued. and then afterwards had dinner and a long chat with them :)

altho same sch but super rare to see them cos of our fyps and different divisions. hee... oH, and the bee hoon. LOL.

anyway i kapok-ed a big goodie bag laden with freebies home. =P
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:06:00 PM

because i'm too lazy to blog

1) AVID 8

where i camp to edit stuff.

2) recce at hosp

you may be wondering why i post this pic. but i post this for the mere reason that i look vaguely interesting, ignoring other things in the pic.

3) making of the 'sensory park' opp my hse


4) my sis' bdae that was celebrated 2 days belated resulting in the cake being 2 days old. but hey, it's still nice! called My Fair Lady. shaved vanilla choc and vanilla cream. yum yum polar cafe. i've also been scarfing the cake in the fridge these past few days too o_o anyway happy 19th sis! (30th jan 2008)


5) sarawak kolo mee at JE that i finally got to eat with pb! after trying and trying.. on the 3rd try we managed to eat! finally got fate! hor pb? hee.


6) the bdae present i got my sis was a tee. freaking cute design so i bought it. hahahaha. i think i can wear it too. *winks*

sooooooo irritatingly cute can?
(just like me? HAHAHA)

aight, late for grace's ViBEs event @ woodlands. tata!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:47:00 AM