Monday, June 30, 2008

oh ya i forgot to show the effect of the maple bdae items on my char. LOL.
I AM BALD! ROTFLMAO

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:58:00 PM

Sunday

although i didn't game at all the previous night, i could only sleep at 3am. took me a good 3hours to do all my jap homework when i came home and i couldn't really sleep due to the throbbing headache i was having. finally dozed off around 3am. but only had a light sleep which resulted in me waking up at 630am when a friend smsed me. but it was okay, because i needed to wake up anyway. received a morning call from another friend at 7am but i was already awake, just that i was lazing on my bed. bleh.

i realise that from 7am onwards i tend to be the most sleepy. and i have the most dreams then. after 7am i am horrible to shake awake and even sleeping at 11pm the previous night (like sunday night) i can wake up at 11am the following day once i continue to laze around past the 7am mark (although at 7am today i was wide awake but my bed is just too nice to sleep in). only woke up due to an important phonecall. =D my intuition has spoken once again. i was expecting a phonecall this morning and i got one.

anyway, rewind back to sunday morning. 7am i shook the sleep out of my eyes and thank goodness that nasty headache had packed its bags obediently and left. after some dalliance, i found myself at suntec only at 920am. and i was speed walking the whole time. not so much to be earlier, but more to train my walking. because my walking speed has deproved with window shopping and walking amongst the crowd and trying not to walk too fast for my mom, or sis or friends lest they complain D: wahahhaa. not that they walk too slow, but i walk too fast.

in the end i didn't know where the event was held. but they will never fail to paste signs all over the mall won't they? reached the area and the queue was already quite long, snaking around the circular stalls and the lights and aircon were still switched off. D: and after all my rushing there, i was beginning to sweat like a cow. MOO.


looks short, but it snakes far in front, then round somewhere like many S shapes. and my area was still dark and so bloody hot.

waiting in line and it only started to move close to 10am when they said it would start at 9. dunno why it was taking so long. at 1030 the queue looked short but horrors, it snaked in front for quite a distance but was concealed by the pillars. i left the queue to take a look and left for good, walking all the way BACK to the convention hall area. reaching the hall, i saw a long queue had amassed at the 4th level when the hall was at the 6th. OMG. queue until downstairs? so i sat on the floor and they started earlier at 1045am. the queue was expedient compared to the maple queue. talk about efficiency. turns out the counter for the first 1000 limited edition be@rbrick was at the 4th level. was so afraid i couldn't get it, but i did! so happy. and some people double-queued and got scolded by one of the people in charge. think he is one of the bosses of P.I.

in the exhibition hall, i rushed straight to the Wizards booth. rofl. filled in the 5 names of the planewalkers and got my deck! free deck +_+ hehe. happiness. first 250 only. dunno how i spent 1115am to 2pm. i went to try out the gh3 guitar and horribly sia suayed myself in the process. cos i kuku got play medium and my fingers aren't used to it. LOL. some idiots behind me in the queue with funny slanging accents said very loudly "SHOWOFF", so i turned around, pulled a face at them and laughed when i left.

the gh3 Wii guitar is smexy. tempted to buy a compatible guitar for my game. but i haven't attempted to clean my ps2 lens yet. it remains blind with cataracts still. doctor and owner too lazy to attend to it. ho hum.



i do stupid things when i'm alone. and i do stupid things even when with people. stupider things. rofl. but it's fun, in a way. entertaining.

1130 i went to queue for DR autograph session. waited until 1245 for my turn and then the same guy who had caught the guys for double-queueing came and said he would cut off the queue in front of the people in front of me. those people were carrying a whole lot of DR stuff. the bigbig $100 over dollar stuff. so they said they're carrying those stuff. SO HE CUT OFF THE QUEUE AFTER THEM WHICH WAS DIRECTLY BEFORE ME. wtf... talk about suay.

anyway while i was queuing, one of the staff there asked if anyone had anything for Tokidoki to autograph. poor guy, to sit with DR and having not many people asking him to sign. i tell you ah, i'm pissed off with DR. too famous and then being too big to sign stuff. but understandably, they really had many people asking them to sign. but the way one of them said it "NO SIGN NO SIGN" while waving his hands like shooing people away at the booth. and not like he doesn't speak english. he can. and his english quite good. boh PR la. fed up.


the back of the tokidoki fan i bought the day before that i got autographed ytd.

you know what's weird? TD has everyone pirating his designs to make bags, wallets, teeshirts and who knows what else. so i was pretty disappointed on his behalf when the long line of fans was instead for DR. BOO.

kudos to my favourite chax. sunday was probably a crazy day for him. what with a LONG LINE of fans growing steadily outside his booth on sunday. thank goodness i had mine autographed the day before. and the other artists didn't turn anyone away, only when they needed to take a break or take the time off to sign things for some other people who had been waiting a long time. hehe i kept passing by to sneak glimpses at him. ytd he wore a grey tshirt =x


also popped by the touma booth, Toumart, and managed to get a signature too =)
signed at the back of my events guide, lol he was wearing the mask from the day before to today, not hot ah D:



snapped some random pictures to pass the time. they were having a pri school lego competition. and i was also waiting in line to get madcap's autograph but he had to go for a break just before my turn D: lol.





hate such crowded events. trying to cram all the booths so near (like what i noticed in restaurants too) and no space to walk and so many people i cannot slowly enjoy the things around me. so many people around me makes me distracted and irritated. i can't walk, i can't think, i can't breathe, i can't enjoy. i hate sharing my space with a million other bodies.

about the restaurants, i will elaborate on that a little bit further down in the post. hmm, i was just getting pete fowler of monsterism to autograph his artist page in the events guide when J told me he had reached suntec.


such a nice guy. and he has awesome art. his pic in the guide looks like elvis, but in real life, with his blonde hair and specs, he kinda looks like one of the beatles. and when i asked for a poster (just for keepsake) he proceeded to autograph it for me ALSO and even helped me roll it up before he handed it to me =O

you know, i was discussing with J about artists. and yes, there really is a difference between the truly talented and those who had nurtured their drawing skills. nature versus nurture. nature still ftw! can see one. artists anyhow draw also can see from the way they draw. got a certain aura. and there's an aura that one can sense from work drawn with emotion and one without. really very obvious.


anyway this is the events guide. quite a well done publication and it's free to boot.

dying from hunger at this point, and met up with J, where i proceeded to whine how hungry i was. but still insisted we check out the maple event at tower4. ROFL. and those liars. they said first 1000 only, instead i think they made much more than that. it was already 230pm. and my coupon is like 30k+++. went with him to verify, hence i had an extra coupon to give away =x yeah given to my darling in japa xD event so fucking crowded and i was so fucking tired. legs all aching and tmd hungry.


this is by far the cutest thing at the event. can't be bothered to take more pictures of the event, too many fucking kids. maybe you can see their website for event details and pictures.

somehow managed to walk to bugis and ended up in ajitei for lunch. had small salmon don (my place ichiban sushi salmon chilli don MUCH nicer) and small curry fried rice with cheese which was awesome for $4.80. ate until very full and drank two glasses of plum sake with soda. and this baka J. so bad to his gf. made her wait alone while he had lunch with me. i scolded him until i kept laughing.

wah very nice. =x and i was very thirsty.

later 4pm he really had to go =x see he's not so bad afterall. ROFL. so i went BV to look at the earring offer they were having. 8 pairs for $10. which resulted in me being late for class because i stood there choosing for sometime. LOL.

slept for most of the class -_-" not my fault they're doing japa poetry and i couldn't absorb until i fell asleep with sensei's voice chirping happily in the background, still sounds like droning to my sleepy ears. D:

after class, went back tpy meet mom and sis for swensens. at this point my phone batt went flat so no pictures of the sizzling hot ice cream on cake drenched in caramel and nuts (mostly pistachio) on the waffle pan. anyway swensens standard damn low. even the ice cream is sad case. but the waiter burned his hand! =o

now pictures of my loot haha.


earring loot + fish necklace my mom gave me for bdae prezzie. taken on ironing board, dun mind the burn marks =x the ironing board is too smexy and hot to handle. because it's a smexy blue and green xD


loot from event. Lorwyn Theme deck (elf), maple ingame items, lucky draw coupon which i didn't bother to put in for the drawing, free be@rbrick.

and was so tired i promptly went to bed at 11pm. after swensens went NTUC buy some groceries and walk back home somemore. rofl. plus accompany my sis to see stuff in world of sports.

ok the restaurants rant goes here. have you noticed that restaurants these days are getting more and more cramped? like NYDC was so uber cramped, luckily i'm not THAT fat and can sidle my way into the booth. omg la. not only that. ajitei was cramped with not enough space between the seat and the table. this was also observed in swensens. some places even worse. in addition to it being cramped, the table is TOO SMALL. omg lah. not enough elbow room, leg room, chest room, food room. zzz. there goes my dining experience. AND WE PAY FOR IT IN OUR SERVICE CHARGE. NOT CHEAP LEH 10%.

oh ya. and i think my dad cleans the place to assert his masculinity when it is threatened. when my mom spoke to him on saturday he had to assert his masculinity on sunday morning by clearing the place. a very tiring and rushed sunday i had. not traditional celebration but not too shabby considering all the free stuff i got. all my self-acquired prezzies. blah, i'm 23. may all my wishes come true!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 4:55:00 PM

wasurete shimatta

yappari otoko no sei da ne. asatte haha wa chichi ni ashita bangohan e ikimashou ka to kiite kedo, chichi wa ikitakunai to itta. ryoushin wa kenka chuu keredomo, chichi wa tabun atashi no koto ga heiki da na? wasurete shimatta kamo? demo itsumo kinisuruna atashi wa sukoshi kinisuru. mata wa, hoka no otoko wa wasurete shimatta kamo? me-ru ga okutta kedo, iwai zenzen nakatta... towaittemo, kinou no ban wa hayaku neta kedo, naruhodo kesa okitara nani mo okurarenai. zenzen nai. kore mo kinisuru. isogashiku toki kamo. wakatteiru... demo na, moshi me-ru ga okurete, naze iwai ga dekinai? anata no wa zenzen wasurerarenai.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:15:00 AM

Saturday, June 28, 2008

insane amount of a-cash required.
14m = $14k spent (WITHOUT GST).
14k in real money for 3 plushies?
tml if i see any one redeeming i will go stalk him/her/them and rob him/her/them.
filthy rich loaded kids on their parents' money.
contributing to a moneyfaced cause.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:26:00 PM

i just read from mori chack's blog entry about the comicon that he is meeting fellow worldwide artists but he doesn't know how to speak english. chotto shinpai na kuchigimi ne. yappari kyou nihongo de shabetta kimetakoto wa yokatta w.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:13:00 PM

SG's Attempt at a COMICON"



So today i went to suntec for the Singapore Toy & Comic Convention 2008 organized by PlayImaginative.

Pretty bad mood today because feeling tired and seeing the immense crowd surging around me makes me even more tired. Regretted that I didn't go earlier nor pre-registered because I thought it would be another standard event at far away expo. Bad foresight on my part. It was quite a large scale toy convention. Really quite a lot of toys. Would have been more exciting if not for the huge crowd. Irritating MC gave me a headache from all his enthusiastic shouting on the microphone over at the large stage.

Saw many free things had already been snapped up. Unhappy because Mori Chack probably wouldn't be around for autographs. Even unhappier because I felt I wasted my opportunity to get free stuff by going so late and not bothering to check the event out despite all the hype.

Wanted to go back home when I spotted Mori Chack's booth. Quite a large number of people pressing towards his booth, so I went closer to take a look. OMG. HE WAS THERE. IN PERSON. SIGNING STUFF. I couldn't believe it. Purchased one of the toys at the booth and waited my turn eagerly. (Yah, I know I'm prone to mood swings. This is extreme. Probably provoked my headache into existence because of the sudden change. Head throbbing now.)

Like a fangirl, I nervously passed him my toy to sign. Then asked him "namae ga kaitemo ii desu ka", which I had to repeat because he didn't quite hear me. ROFL. Then I stupidly pressed the mechanical pencil too hard and the lead flew out. LOL. All I could then mutter was gomen gomen! Scribbling my name on the notepad, he looked at my name and tried a few utterances. Then I looked at him and said, "hai, DISU". wahahaha. OMG then he proceeded to sign my toy. "Dear DISU..." he begin. OMG IDOL! I took a picture while he was signing. OMGOMGOMG. Then later I asked him, "shashin ga tottemo ii desu ka" (ROFL asking permission in Japa is like the most useful thing.) He obliged! Then my mom dunno how to use my phone! In the end I had to zipai. I look so ugly and FANGIRLY omg. But!!!! MORI CHACK!~~~~~~ Then I thanked him very politely and left the booth for others to take their turn while I was OMGing.



Pretty much the highlight of the day. Saw DevilRobots and Tokidoki around too. Bought some of their stuff like Play TO-FU and a Tokidoki fan and stickers. Wanted to get backissues of Playtimes by PI, but their booth didn't have. Think I might order online or wait for Volume 4 compilation to come out.


CHAX IS SO CUTE.


DEAR*DISU! *fangirls*


DevilRobots' new photoframe collection. $20 each.


One of DR's signature toys, the Evirob. I have the small version.


Wall mural outside the convention hall (R)


Wall mural outside the conventional hall (L)


Today's 1337 loot!

I'm going back to Suntec tomorrow for the toy comicon again. As well as the maplesea 3rd anniv carnival. Might be back with more loot! Trying to see if I can get DR to sign the green alien tofu, and Tokidoki to sign the fan. Thinking of subscribing to some toy magazines. But of course, low on cash. Loads of rushing around to do! No time no time no time!

In other news, I bought a new pair of earrings quite recently. It's quite chio, 2 dark grey cubes. I like this sort of material/colour for jewelry. heh.



Celebrated my bdae in advance at NYDC / Bugis FJ with Sharon's belated bdae celebration. Cookie Monster invaded our table. We had nice tiramisu cake.


This rum raisin vanilla cake from Gastronomia is nice. One box for $8. Expensive but still quite ok, considering there are about 3-4 slices in there and outside one slice of cake usually costs anything from $2 to $8. This outlet is at Great World City. Dunno if they have anymore. Dense rich cake but disappointed with the not-so-strong rum. Like the raisins. Nice and plump. If I made a rum and raisin cake, I'd soak the raisins till plump and juicy in rum. Drench the cake mixture itself with 2 or 3 shots of rum, depending on the size.


Had kaya bun toast and 2 soft boiled eggs with mom while waiting for sis. Of course, not forgetting the "teh si gao siu dai" I usually order to wash down everything with.

Might also pop early to bugis to buy a $5 watch and 10 pairs of earrings for $8. Friggin' headache. Can't do my sakubun. =(
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:42:00 PM

sunrise report

because i was still up at 630am but lying on my bed already with a clear view of the sky from my window, i decided to look at it to see if the change would be significant within a 5 minute period ala Coldplay's Yellow.

well at 0636hours it was still quite dark out, but from black it had changed to dark blue before that. 0636hours rendered a medium blue.

0639hours it was a lighter blue. a much lighter blue by about half. a dark light blue?

i kept my eyes peeled for changes in the sky. during that period it was quite fast. but unfortunately i fell asleep -_-

with a quick check of the NEA site, i found out 702am was the time for sunrise this morning. meaning it was the time the sky was fully bright?

shall go find more literature on the subject.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:34:00 PM

barry and stuart really do awesome yet gory, suggestive, scary and weird tricks.
youtube them for suicide in c sharp. rofl. but gross. cringing yet laughing while watching it. AWFULLY random. and i really mean AWFUL. but awesome.

and they have found a fan in me!

k bedtime =D toodles~
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:03:00 AM

after an entire night of surfing R21 content on youtube (yes, there IS R21 content with total nudity and explicit content) i have found something PG13 enough and entertaining enough to post here =D

don't worry what i was watching on youtube wasn't -exactly- porn. it was EDUCATIONAL (porn). *cough*



magic~~!

and i've no inspiration whatsoever to blog about my job interview, nor recent outings =x maybe tomorrow~ and i'm hungry -_- almost 6am. (maybe i can see the sun rise like in Coldplay's Yellow... still wondering if they enhanced it unnaturally or not).

and OH.
still hung up over my masculine earring fetish, my girly (*GASP) tops fetish, my CHEAP $5 watch fetish, my earring fetish (OMG $10 for 8 pairs) and who knows what else.

but no, sakubun is to be done. and i think i wanna go for the comicon (i wanna but i'm lazy... HOW. and i didn't even manage to go see dj roy spin at the contest at mOS. siGH. he doesn't read my blog anymore.. but so sorry! blah.)

and no i will not elaborate on what random videos i was watching. random explicit videos with extremely graphic content. and the shows from the 70s or 80s are really OMGWTFBBQ... if you thought the kid's show about playing with twangers and balls innocent musical instruments allusion to AHEM was bad, there's a load of retro shit available that plays out like video felatio.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 5:48:00 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

first thing that hit me was the shaky opening shot. as if handheld; taken by sightseers. and the beautiful landscape and moving... clouds? sand? looks like they timewarped the footage.

and yeah of course, there's a violet sky and such.

the video is directed by asa mader. never heard of him (of course, i can never forget my gondry!) but did a quick wiki search. seems like he did a couple of things for france and india.

kinda reminds me of a nat geo show. like about volcanos, landscapes and geysers. haha. for the mtv effect, add in random flashes where subtle changes are made. because flashes are a great way to distract the viewer from conti errors or jumps. anyway jumpcuts in mtvs are a deliberate style.

and then the band walks up the 'hill'. or rather, are portrayed to have appeared on the landscape and walk up the hill. nice EWS, with them almost in silhouette as you will see later. i like silhouette shots.

still going shaky. a deliberate effect i assume, but for what purpose? voyeur feel? or sightseeing feel? is there a monster living on the hill? or is this like a scene from a memory? from the mind hence the flashes. a recollection of sorts?

0:29 and they're walking past a house. colours somewhat changed to more brown washed out tones. ambient music is STILL building up. and this take is too long for my liking and seems to focus too long on the 3rd guy. i thought naturally they would choose to focus longer on chris martin. but anyway it suits the music cos the music kicks in when they finish walking.

i still feel the rhythm and pacing of the video is odd. drifting in and out with various styles: you have the flashy jumpcut thing going, the weird magnifying glass and walking around thing, the shaky handheld shots, the slow landscapes and walking (i can spot MANY walking shots here, most of which are longer than 5 seconds!) with the quick jumpcuts and flashes. would be good if it weren't so inconsistent.

really dislike the contrast for the faded walking shot. maybe it's my comp monitor or what; i have yet to watch it on mtv.

what i do like is the wide shot of the band performing on the steps of a building. and the distorted guitar notes that join verses together kick in and the jumpcuts come. yeah i like that. because i was looking at it and wondering how they did it. like, if they wanted the background people to remain constant while chris moves randomly, they'll just ask them to repeat their movements and have chris wander about while they choose what to use on the edit table. but i think they never really ask the band to stick in the same position. because i see their positions changing too. only it's like set positions. think they took about 3 to 5 variations of that wideshot only.

as usual, mtv style, to follow the beat of the music to cut to. i think the drum being used (although being beaten in front of chris' in the shot. OMG totally weird and ?!?!?!) is cute.

spied a tracking shot in there! but it only lasted for a split second, not enough for the nice effect. haha. and there's a tilt up to the side profile of the band's MCU (tight) singing. although the focus is correctly on the lead singer. hehe.

by the way, what's up with HAMMERS, magnifying glasses and the getup they're wearing that makes them look like coal miners? funny cutting to and cutting out of chris making pre-singing mouth movements. rofl. also kinda look like criminals on death row or something. the saturated almost-monochrome effect. with the close cropping of the face (CUs).

ooo then the nice silhouette shots atop the hill that changes to that of a violet sky. and LITERAL can? "and the fog" they show the fog. -_-

then you have the guy lifting the heavy rock. (are they really miners in the video!?!?! archaeologists? rofl)

chris and his funny forward neck action is beginning to crack me up. like a duck indian. -_- don't understand the shots of the moustache, the head bending, the eye glaring and the head shifting (in shot) rofl. what are the connotations? can't seem to find much literature on the 'making of' violet hill. hmm, always nice to find out what the director intended.

OOH the magnifying glass makes an appearance around 1:55! introspection? or just trying to help coldplay portray their new sound as different, quirky or just a director's quirk? now that's up for debate.

suddenly with the climbing up the hill shot, i see chris holding a tiny trumpet and their clothes seem to invoke 'french revolution'. is this a conquering of some sorts? my question is only answered with more vigourous head action from the lead singer while the band sits behind on the soil and bangs furiously on the drums.

btw why i say french revolution esque? look at the arm band of chris martin. french colours yeah? and his pants are funny too. lol. take note of the coat style. but mostly the arm band. what meaning does the french revolution hold for the band that they must title their album such? hmm. this i have to find literature for.

guitar riff part and they've gathered around the piano with all of them vigourously shaking back and forth. ho hum. upped the contrast here. if the contrast in the walking shot was too low, this is too high. -_- but then again i'd prefer higher contrast to lower.

and they start behaving strangely, with more magnifying glass stints and funny walking -_- oh i do like their guitars though! very french esque also. camera?! one of them takes snapshots while walking. perhaps they're explorers or sightseers afterall.

walking in the snow, the white snow, on violet hill. literal too. i like the curious way he walks though. another walking long take long shot. looks like they just asked him to do his thing and walk. because his walking style changes halfway. haha. and why he fall down? they cut in between to his face i think because they wanted to cut back to him falling down (end of the shot) but in the beginning wanted to use the beginning of the shot (or a totally different take) of the walking.

overall. messy video. not much meaning (to me). a bit inconsistent. but i can see some parts are natural and non-directed (i think). weird quirks are bonuses to me. will give this video 3/5.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:39:00 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

more random stuff

1) sales talk

Sales Technique #1 - Give them something for nothing One of the first things a stripper will do is come up to you and flirt with you. She will likely sit on your lap or do something to raise your excitement level. For this, you have to do nothing. But you do get a sample of the service and if it is a good one, your chances of buying the service increases. This also applies to the dances they do on the stage.
Sales Technique #2 - Understand your customers Strippers get to know their customers by asking questions. This allows them to develop a rapport and tailor the sales pitch…
Sales Technique #3 - Tailor the Sales Pitch Strippers will try different sales pitches to different people based on what she thinks they like. “I like to get dirty” or “Have you seen my great ass?” or “My tits are real”. Each pitch may be the one thing that converts the potential customer into a buyer. (Pointing out a tight ass works well for me). And she revises her pitch based on experience.
Sales Technique #4 - Make sure you are selling a great product/serviceShe knows she has to have a great product. If she put on 30 pounds or hadn’t showered for the past 4 days, she would likely not get as many customers. Regardless of how great of a salesperson you are, you can’t do much with a crappy product/service.
Sales Technique #5 - Provide Good Customer ServiceShe will make sure you are happy on your first dance or she won’t get repeat business or won’t be able to do what she ultimately set out to do…Upsell.
Sales Technique #6 - Upsell She sells the customer on a relatively cheap service, a lapdance, but then markets her other services to them. She tries to get them to the “champagne room” and sell an upgraded service, which is where the money is at. However, without the first sale, she would never get the larger sale. Customer acquisition is tough. Once she does it, she needs to get as much business as she can.
Sales Technique #7 - Closing Techniques. She will use a variety of closing techniques to get you to buy her services. There are a variety of closing techniques, but two popular ones used by strippers are the compliment close (usually flirting with you) and companion close (getting your buddies to push you into closing the deal).
Sales Technique #8 - Target your audience Strippers market to individuals that are interested in her service. First, she works in a strip club where guys go specifically for her service, that is obvious. But she also knows which guys to go after within a group or which groups will likely spend the most money. Spending time with cheap-asses only wanting to pay a dollar for a dance will not be a wise use of he precious time.
Sales Technique #9 - Persistence Even though the audience is qualified, she knows she will get rejections. Even so, she will go up to every guy and ask if they need a lap dance. She also knows that the more guys she asks, the more yes’s she will get.
Sales Technique #10 - Branding I don’t know any strippers that are named Ethel, Mildred or Agnus. Instead, you will get the pleasure to do business with Cookie, Destiny, Candy, or Raven.

2) when your order goes wrong...

Friday, November 09, 2007
Stripper Mistakenly Sent to School.....(Thanks, Mom!) and how stripper sales tactics mirror other business

A teenage schoolboy in the UK was pulled around his classroom on a leash and spanked by a stripper after a birthday surprise mix-up. The teen's mother had ordered an agency to give her son a 'surprise' on his 16th birthday - and the teacher had also agreed to allow the surprise. But it all went wrong when the company sent a stripper dressed as a policewoman instead of a man in a gorilla suit - in what it called a booking error.

One student told Sky News: "She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn't been doing his homework."

"Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and leash from her bag and told him to put them on." After walking the boy around the classroom and spanking him with a whip, the action got even more steamy.

"She took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in," the student said. It was at that point the shocked teacher - who had not been told what the surprise was - called an end to the show. A spokeswoman for the school in Nottinghamshire said they were investigating how the incident happened.

3) random poster


4) MOOBS IN THE NEWS. (moob reduction)

Last year, 4,000 men had their ‘man-boobs’ removed. Steve Beale, who had the op in 2003, tells his story

A record 4,000 blokes in the UK had their man-breasts, or “moobs”, removed by cosmetic surgery last year. According to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, that’s almost double the number for 2005, when 2,100 went under the knife for the same reason.

I had the operation – known as gynaeplasty, the moob condition itself being more sensibly known as gynaecomastia — back in 2003, making me something of a pioneer. Since then gynaeplasty has gone up from eighth to third place in the top ten cosmetic procedures undergone by men.

Man boobs are certainly the defect du jour. Venerable famous females avoid the worst excesses of the celebrity press – Angelina Jolie’s scrawny hands might make Heat ’s “circle of shame” while Judy Dench’s varicose veins are spared – but any chap is fair game.

Newspapers have taken to printing shots of noted moobies, such as Simon Cowell, Tony Blair, Robbie Williams and Chris Moyles, going topless on holiday.

Farcical, saucy, and somewhat tragic, man-breasts make ideal fodder for the British tabloid media.

And as someone who sported a spectacular pair for most of his life, I can confirm that people do find them vividly intriguing. During my ample-chested days I lost count of the (unwanted) pleas of others, both male and female, to give them an exploratory mash.

So it’s unsurprising that thousands of men with unwanted tits are having them taken off. I had one of the first “day case” operations, where you’re in and out in a couple of hours. The anaesthetist put me under, the surgeon made crescent-shaped cuts around the lower half of each nipple and the offending flesh burst out like roots from a germinating bulb.

Two keyhole incisions were made on either side of my chest and liposuction employed to suck out the fat that had built up around the moobs themselves. When I came round afterwards, the theatre nurses triumphantly presented my vanquished breast flesh on a silver surgical tray. Humble in defeat, the two little piles of orangey-pink offcuts resembled Nigella Lawson’s mango salsa. I felt a very masculine rush of man’s mastery over nature. Then the nurses tipped my man breasts into the bin, which dashed any hopes of having them preserved in formaldehyde.

I’m dwelling on the gory detail of the breast flesh itself because the most common misconception of man-boobs is that they’re purely a result of obesity (recent thinking plumbs more for a genetic inclination, and they certainly run in my family, or the more way-out theory that there’s too many female hormones in the water system due to the contraceptive pill).

My man-boobs appeared postadolescence, at around the time I was expecting mutant super-powers instead. They were so unattractive that at 16 my mum pulled me along to the local health centre to see if anything could be done. The family GP’s advice was simply to go on a diet. I got down to ten and a half stone (67kg) , which is pretty slim for a 5ft 10in (1.78m) guy with a pocket battleship frame.

Unfortunately the doctor was proved wrong — my moobs didn’t recede at all and became even more apparent on top of a svelte(r) torso. In the rugby team changing rooms at my West Country all-boys’ grammar school, I was second in fascination only to the unassuming guy with a willy down to his knees. Like many blokes with an “unfortunate characteristic”, as much as I could have done without the gibes, I can’t say that I descended into de- spair and self-hatred when I got teased about my man-breasts.

Man-breasts.co.uk says it’s “the site that says it’s fat and it’s proud — then quickly puts its shirt back on” and I employed a similar combination of humour and bravado. My party piece was sucking my own nipples — and that was usually the last word on the subject. Once I entered the more diplomatic world of London media people stopped mentioning my man-breasts. There were isolated incidents — the Brazilian transsexual who gave them an uninvited grope and casually inquired “hor-mona?”; the Northern lap-dancer at whom I’d been throwing money all night who joyously reminded my fellow stags “He’s got tits!”; and the caring female colleague who asked in all seriousness if I had ever worn a bra (er, no).

But despite the comparative lack of interest I did indeed still have those tits that maybe justified said bra. I could accept them as part of me, but it was still pretty unpleasant to cast my gaze down, during sex for instance, and see two white chocolate walnut whips dripping down from my chest.

In my late twenties, plastic surgery kept coming up as a solution. My moobs hadn’t come between myself and romance, and I was seeing a girl whose mum worked in cosmetic surgery and reported that gynaeplasty was very common. My own mother passed on news of a fireman who’d got his done on the NHS, citing “pressures within a masculine professional environment”. Then a close friend underwent the op himself. He was evangelical about the results, which did look perfect. “Am just enjoying my first man-breast-free summer, lying on beach with T-shirt well and truly OFF,” he texted me. Worries about cost and danger assuaged, I resolved to rid myself of my man-breasts through medical science.

Which takes us back to the recovery room. Afterwards I had to wear sutures for two weeks — this was during the sweltering summer of 2003, and I chucked back far more painkillers to take my mind off the itchy dressings than for the very temporary pain of invasive surgery. Then they were gone — almost. Admiring myself in the mirror, I was suspicious that one half of my new flatter chest was slightly bigger than the other. I put off reporting this back to my surgeon as I was plagued by worries that I had now entered a new strata of physical obsession, and was perhaps “addicted to plastic surgery”.

“Everyone has one boob bigger than the other” said my girlfriend of the time. “Not men,” was my earnest response. When I did summon up the courage to reapproach the good Dr Malik I was extremely relieved that he confirmed my doubts. He said he could have another go at it “under local” but a bit of working out would suffice instead. I took up Thai boxing and thanks as much to that I now have the figure of a Victorian strongman.

And it’s great. Not only do I no longer have the “unattractive protuberances” themselves but the effect on my overall silhouette has been just as dramatic. I’ve a V-shaped torso rather than being noticeably top-heavy. I was very quick to bring up these changes in conversation — “men tend to keep their decision to have an operation very secretive, they don’t want anyone to put them off, but afterwards they tend to be very open

about it,” says Bernice Berry, spokesperson for the cosmetic surgery chain Harley Medical. I’d also had my teeth whitened at around the same time. “What do you think?” I’d ask in the pub, rising to my feet in self-presentation. “We didn’t even know you had man breasts,” was the most common response. “But your teeth,” which I was a lot less conscious of, “look amazing.” I got a handle on the widely disputed comment girls make when they say they’re “wearing this miniskirt for me”. My own perception of my body was ultimately more important than others’.

I wasn’t guilty about changing myself — I was glad the damn things were gone. I’ve taken part in several TV mini-debates on the subject and on the majority of occasions the person on the other side of the argument is a slim blonde who disingenuously tells me that “beauty is on the inside”. I’m not sure if no longer possessing moobs has had a huge impact on my love life, bar my own image of myself naked, which is obviously much improved. But what I am convinced of is that it’s made me a more presentable and confident professional.

“In an information and ideas-based economy where so many of us have similar skills, what differentiates people is their appearance and how vibrant they are,” says Sean Pillot de Chenecy of Captain Crikey trend consultants, whose clients include that staple of male bathrooms, Lynx deodorant. “So appearance and ‘aura’ have become very important for younger men wanting to get on. It’s not a silly fad, it’s a multimillion-pound industry based around men looking fitter, younger and more alert.”

I do feel terribly sorry for fellow moob sufferers who can’t afford the operation, which costs about £4,000. Yet cosmetic surgery is beginning to be seen as a far better way to spend your cash than on this year’s TV or yet another disappointing beach holiday. Having grown up part of the sci-fi generation I’m quite comfortable with having undergone a procedure considered extreme. While I do profess awe — and a little scepticism — for those who say they’re happy with themselves and would never “fiddle with their bodies”, I have no regrets whatsoever. I very much doubt any other bloke who had moobs, and now doesn’t, would disagree.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:47:00 PM

one thing i'd really like to have but practically impossible if i want it painless (no pain no gain) is a smaller bust.

i don't even wanna be skinny.
i just want a smaller bust.

so i can wear nice clothes!!!!

those clothes with a predetermined bust are so annoying!!!! i can fit everywhere else except the bust!!!!!! rubbish. even tubes also cannot anyhow buy. pisses me off!!!!!!

shirt must also wear bigger size grr!!!

ppl wanna increase, i wanna reduce. wahahahaha.

let me give u examples:




pisses me off!!!!

oh and guy earrings are smexy. esp if they're black. BUT.
concern 1: my earlobe too thick -_-
concern 2: their piercing gauge is thicker than normal.
concern 3: OUCH! D:
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 8:57:00 PM

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

ultimate blind spot

think people are the most blind and oblivious to things that are directly in front of them. only when it's gone, when they later reach for it and find it missing, do they realise how much they needed it or treasured it.

same goes with people. you may not treasure the people before your eyes right now, but when you find them gone, there's suddenly something missing and regret. especially if you're the one that shooed the person away.

i don't understand why they have no qualms about sending him away. and don't seem to bother. other parents suffer from the empty nest syndrome. reluctant to send their children away, and when they finally allow the child to leave, they keep in contact constantly with him/her.

never kick a bird out of the nest; unless it decides to spread its wings and fly.

hohoho my sis is out at science camp for the whole week! i can rampage about the house and wreck havoc in every step i take! ya right. now i'm the only mediator left between my parents who are still having cold war. rofl. sian. i'm too lazy to pass messages.

in other news, i went to try on my graduation robe, hood and mortar board hat. it's nice! maroon and black is actually nice. because maroon is RED. wtf color blind ah? so happy it's not grey and yellow. OMG so ugly. forgot which school. ROFL. anyway i went with the intention of only TRYING ON cos only gonna RENT. in the END, i ended up getting a family portrait package. oh BLAH salestalk. but they really do make a good pitch. and i suppose one only graduates (for the first time) once in one's life.

so close. graduation is approaching within a month's time. and... my top grievance rears its ugly head once again: WHERE IS MY JOBBA?!?! sian. one month not enough to find a job. two months not enough to find a job. 3 months also not enough to find a job... can't even apply for NLB scholarship cos i don't have first class honours. argh... but that's just INSANE and borders on FAVOURITISM. so i am not going there. debatable? yes. beatable? no. the system is always the right and winning one, especially if you're one of the bottom feeders.

did something i haven't done in AGES today. i went to tpy lib with grace and BORROWED BOOKS. omfg. one book in particular reminded me of sharon cos its title is "Everything is Illuminated" and that's her msn nick. hmm. most likely...?

tomorrow i must apply for a job at yellowpages. because it's so near my house! an opportunity not to be missed. longer sleeping times ftw. praying for PgOne to contact me. and jealous when i see ppl on facebook add networks of like companies to their profile. (SPH *mumbles*) like, you're employed so don't GLOAT on social networking sites CAN? while i sit here, resigned to the fact that i look so spastic no one will hire me. sighs.

MY RESUME NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH?

what? u wan me to draw on it with glittery pink gel pen my little ponies and pink dainty flowers and pink hearts? OMG.... D:

fed up... time to go to a FAR OFF PLACE (like singapore expo HAHAHA) and immerse myself in credit-free spending (ie: mama's wallet HAHA) but of course with limit la. sian. saturday is 4 days away.

and no i don't want CDs for my bdae pressie.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 3:55:00 AM

Monday, June 23, 2008

omfg it's 4am

You Are a Visual Learner

You tend to remember what you see, and you have a good eye for aesthetics. You excel at art, design, and computer programming. You would be an excellent film director - or the next Bill Gates!

Your Monster Profile

Iron Giant You Feast On: Fingernails You Lurk Around In: The Hearts of Men You Especially Like to Torment: Your Evil Twin

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours. Your idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt. Clean, if you're lucky. You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal. In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Your Feet Say About You:

You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to. You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired. You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it. You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner. You are not easily frightened, but you have a few strong phobias. You are very practical and down to earth. You're more concerned with action than thoughts. You are an amazingly hard worker. You aren't spoiled and you don't mind getting your hands dirty. You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence.

You Are A Relationship Doormat!

Surprise, you ruin relationships. Bet you didn't see that one coming :-) While you're a nice, understanding, and caring girlfriend - you don't put your needs first. And deep down, it's probably because you worry about getting dumped. So speak up for yourself, weed out the losers sooner, and you'll find a guy that *deserves* you.

You Are a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

You are a traditional person with very simple tastes. In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun. You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it! Your best friend: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Ham Sandwich

You Are 59% Peaceful

In general, you think the world's a pretty great place - and you're happy to be a part of it. Sometimes you struggle with life, but who doesn't? You are quite level headed, though you have more inner angst than you'd like.

You Are Incredibly Logical

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity. Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

You've Changed 48% in 10 Years

You've done a good job changing with the times, but deep down, you're still the same person. You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but it hasn't changed you.

You Should Weigh 175

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight. If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

You Are a Friendly Ex

While the guys you've dated haven't been perfect, you've kept most as friends In fact, one or two of your exes may be your best friends - after all, they know you best And though your mature attitude is awesome, make sure nothing gets too weird Or else you could lose these friendships, simply because your exes' new women think you're *too* friendly

Your Mind is PG-13 Rated

Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy. You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude.

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

You Are 40% Shy

You are slightly shy, but overall, your reactions to social situations are normal. You dread difficult social situations, but you still handle them with grace.

You are a Career Girl!

You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success. You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy! An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing. And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

You Should Learn Spanish

For you, learning a language is about career advancement and communication. Knowing Spanish will bring you tons of possibilities for jobs and travel. Bárbaro!

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that. You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness. Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you. And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

You Are a Tinsel Tree

For you, Christmas is no different than the rest of the year. And this means you do things your own way - and continue to surprise people.

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways. You tend to focus on color and movement in art. For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail. You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

Your PMS Disaster Level: Low

You have a little PMS every now and then, but it's not bad at all. No one probably notices except you.

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

You Are More Yang

Masculine Creative Angry Spring Summer Morning Sun Space Active Wood Chocolate

Your Gluttony Quotient: 48%

You definitely have your gluttonous moments. For you, eating is a true hobby. And while you do spend a lot on food, you can always make it back winning eating contests.

Your Inner Gender is Male

You are rational, matter of fact, and quite dominant. You like to get things done, without any emotional messiness. You truly don't understand most women. And you definitely feel more comfortable around men. No doubt about it. You're a guy - at least on the inside.

You Should Be a Poet

You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences. Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it!

You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly. But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else! Your best soda match: Diet Coke Stay away from: Mountain Dew

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

You Sometimes Hold a Grudge

You aren't exactly vengeful, but you're not going to forget when someone wrongs you. And while you'll forgive the small things, you don't hand out too many second chances to people who really screw up.

You Are Milk Pocky

Your attitude: caring and charming Smooth and silkly... invigorating and natural. You are like comfort food for the soul.

You Are 44% Nerdy

You may be a bit surprised with this score, but your more of a closet nerd than an actual nerd. Stop denying your inner nerd! You're truly dorkier than you think.

You Are 52% Weirdo

You're definitely quite strange, but you can act like a normal person when you have to. (But just because you can act normally, it certainly doesn't mean you want to!) You have normal aspects to your personality... but you usually don't choose to emphasize them.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:20:00 AM