Thursday, December 26, 2002

ok. previous entry irritated the hell outta me.. not only did it take me hell long to crap out, later on blogger screwed up on me.. and would only work if i disconnected from the net and reconnected.. which i did. for 3 times. arghhh.. sucks. dunno why blogger late at night.. erm.. morning.. 6am.. always screws on me.. aww well..

i realised my entries of late are getting increasingly depressing. wow. but i write well when i'm in the calm comatose-like depressed mood.. everything just seems to flow.. especially in the wee hours of the morning.. been long time since i've wrote stories.. the only writing i've been doing is my blog.. can't even write songs now.. block! arghhhhh... =(

anyway i decided to book tix online for AL's concert here.. hmm.. if the need arises i might even get a fake-o mc from the polyclinic in my neighbourhood and just dun attend sch all together. haha.. doubt if my mom will allow me to.. but i could convince her... yeahh~~ =)
i promised her not to cut classes anymore next yr.. but.. i just can't habit.. old habits die hard.. yeah.. stoning, cutting if i dun feel like it, running amok in the sch compound while everyone's at their class.. argh... going out after school.. not being able to study.. seems like my spurt of studiousness wore off.. i din touch physics for 2 days already.. haha.. haix... my homework.. hopeless case... reli gonna be doomed next yr...

i haven't made it official yet.. but i am hereby quitting my lousy cca.. dunno what to join.. rejoin eldds? or carry on from sec school.. guitar? how about something new? sports? nah.. too damn unfit.. i can't even finish 2 rounds stamina charged and fast.. i'll be like panting at the last stretch.. running slower than a tortoise.. yeah.. that's why i pon pe.. i ponned for a month plus in succession towards the end of this year. i dun like it. dun like being so unfit.. yet i dun wanna train.. i hate running.. it sucks.. it's so... flat. boring. tiring. and i dun have the determination and mindset to push myself. sure.. i always end off as the last one in class.. lagging behind.. plodding away.. panting.. heaving.. exhausted.. out of breath.. pe teacher says that altho i lost weight to like 130%, i'm still having the fitness of an obese person.. a person above 150% on the moe-devised board.. ARGH.. i hate the moe. i hate the hpb. i hate taf. it sucks. i suck. haix.

ok la.. i've been in TAF ONLY my WHOLE life.. since pri sch.. den sec sch.. now jc.. at first it stressed me out.. i found it embarrassing to be deemed on LIFETIME records that i was officially fat. oh yeah. but i grew used to it. and the rebellious streak in me always found reason to pon pon pon. to face up to the teachers giving me crap about my fat. to ignore all the shit that i would be given if i continued on like this. hah. i'm still here. fatty-ass dith is still here.

argh. bloody fuck.

ok yeah.. onto another issue.. i realise some ppl can't see my latest entries.. only from dec12... wtf? ugh.. another thing to add to my list of hated things: blogspot. lame lah.. kaox..

ok.. now booking tix to avril lavigne's concert.. cool cool cool.. me can't waaaiiit.. =D

haix.. i did what i set out to do today. i sent a super long sms last night.. 3 msgs long.. and that was about 6+am.. in the morning he smsed me back.. saying he respects my decision and that yeah.. i'm single now.. blah.. not that i'm on the prowl for another now.. why should i be? gotta start concentrating on As next yr.. so somehow, what jes said was true.. only for the hols.. like some... haix. nvm.. dun dreg over it.. blahblah..

mm.. i'm hungry.. off to the kitchen to see what's cooking..
tataz!!! =)
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 8:52:00 PM