Wednesday, December 25, 2002

tis the season to be jolly.. huh. issit? what a load of steaming crap. pishpash.. today everyone was nice.. yeah sure.. some were genuinely nice.. but i bet they're nice not only on xmas but on other 'ordinary' days too.. some were.. well.. extra nice today.. and of cos there are those who are fake-o nice.. well.. i often see myself in that category. yeah, well.. i'm fake.. i'm plastic.. it's fantastic.. nananaa.

ok lah.. that's not the reason for my pissiness.. i'm reli pissed cos that was the final emotion i experienced on the way home.. we were shopping in orchard after marche.. today was min. $10 per person.. so we had loads of stuff.. first time i tried escargo too.. interesting.. kinda like clam.. hey.. as long as i don't have to scoop the grey meat outta the shell i'm cool with it.. it's the shell that irks me, i guess.. i had it in cream soup.. so wasn't so bad.. and then we had the usual rosti.. calamari.. my aunt had fried rice.. i tried the apple wine there.. 40%.. frankly i don't like wine.. and apple wine is like.. *scrunches up face* a tad too 'winey' for me.

ugh.. good start to a shitty day. my nose started running amongst all things.. there was some mix up.. ppl called me ma'am? (wtf.. do i look THAT old?) _|_
argh.

nvm.. trivial things. like a gentle breeze they whisk on by and float off, leaving no trace or memory after awhile.
but.
after centrepoint. came the straw, or rather, the cab ride that broke the dith's back.

fine. fine.
call me a discriminating bitch. call me bias. call me a high-society chick who looks down on those who have lowly jobs. call me a bastard. or just call me a gal on pms.

too bad. you're wrong.
1. the first thing you must know about me that i don't talk about it my dad's job. he's -also- a cab driver. and SAD to say, he drives the same kind of cab that freaking asshole drove today. Comfort.
HAH. what comfort did it offer, may i ask? wasn't worth the $12 bucks my mom paid. wasn't even worth a drop of my saliva.
My aunt is old. she's like 20+ years my mom's senior or sth.. well.. they're half sisters. so yeah. my aunt is old. 70+ to be exact. and it's only right to give aging folks some respect even those foul-mood ones. (give them the benefit of the doubt that they're suffering from old-age crankiness, dementia or are somewhat senile. don't always assume they're doing it on purpose because they CAN. oh, and did you ever CONSIDER that they, like everyone ELSE can have bad days?)
so after shopping, my mom bought her some food and stuff (cos she lives alone) and we waited in the taxi stand outside centrepoint.

Call it just damn luck or trash luck or whatever.

oh yes. we HAD to HAVE this ANNOYING cab driver. small irritable man who was proficient in hokkien or some kinda ruffian dialect with close cropped fuzzy hair on that head of his. oh YES.

at FIRST it was ok. then suddenly my aunt asked why we weren't going down the road she usually goes. ok. fine. i don't understand a word of what they were talking (or rather squawking about) i for one am not fluent in hokkien or any dialect. but that doesn't mean you can insult me to my face whenever you feel like it. so _|_ off.

like 2 headless chickens trying to claw each other to death and 1 chicken losing it's head, (driver, aunt and mom respectively) they argued on. and noise in a small enclosed area IS noise. me and my sis were sitting at the back, TOLERATING whatever nonsensical insults or whatnot they were hurling at each other. each demanding they were right or what crap.

i dunno and i dun care. but HELL. it SURE sounded like some quarrel leading to a fight. i half expected all 3 people to face each other with fists clenched.. even the driver. (maybe he could just drive with his feet. watever.) yaaaaa yaaaa.
everyone getting increasingly irritated with each other.

at first i was fine. yep.. i was fine. din reli know what the hell was going on.. just slightly annoyed. but i managed to absorb myself in the scenery outside.. stoning at the lines of moving trees and lampposts.. cos i was just damn flat out. not to mention kinda coming down with something.

and then my aunt, according to my mom: "excitable" as anything, wanted to get the presents for us. meaning, that when we reached her house, she would "run up and run down". my mom didn't want to leave me and my sis alone in the cab; afraid that he might drive off with her children.

logical enough.
in fact, i myself was considering that.

so my sis went up with my aunt after getting lost and blurred. like she alwaays does. nothing new.

and my mom, that asshole and me were in the vehicle alone.
oh. happyhappyjoyjoy.

KAOBEI HEAVEN FOR ALL!

.............

nabei loh. both argueing in that knn irritating voice.. somemore i think he was some ex-gangster or sth.. i can imagine him talking like that like a da4 er3 long2 to one of the people who owes him. yah yah. yadayada. go on, bite each other's heads off.
as if they know each other so well. sounded like it, tho.

kaobeiness.

both sitting on front. yapyapyapping away. me, trying hard not to listen.. staring outta the window at the dark silent street, save for a few lampposts here and there.. circles of light framing the lithe raindrops pattering down on the shiny tar road.

it's a wonder how long 5 minutes can seem.

i was beginning to make hissy noises under my breath. had to control the urge to bolt out of the damned vehicle and slam the car door. HARD. show the them finger and call him a chao fucker. all the works.
but nooo.. i was trying hard to feel the x'mas spirit. to be the tolerant and cultured lady i, we, are all brought up to be. didn't wanna appear uncouth or vulgar. who knows what people might think. what kind of parents i have. what lifestyle i lead. etc. well.. i'm sure you're intelligent enough to get the picture.

but. i. just. couldn't. take. it.

either leave the taxi or retort back. or i would e-x-p-l-o-d-e.
so i started muttering from the back seat. hah. "pissified mutterings from the back seat". -_-;
muttering stuff like "yaaaa lah yaaaa lah. stop it lah. kaobei lah." or whatnot. nothing too rude.

trust me. honestly i'm v tolerant with people. all kinds. i can face scolding like nothing. i can take the flecks of a teacher's angry spit for another. but this time..
i dunno. maybe i was just too fed up. i mean, come ON. we're perfect strangers. and you're ARGUEING cos you were reprimanded MILDLY by a senior citizen????!!!! wtf is the MATTER with you, you stinking JERK-OFF?
ARGH. DIAM LAH. NABEI.

arguementative and grouching over his life to my mom.. who seemed to be the only one paying attention. with disgruntled "ya's" in between. me and my sis were looking out separate side windows. trying to cool our boiling blood.

we reached home. and he managed to SHUT up, at least for awhile during the last stretch home.
ARGH. you can't teach an old dog new tricks. some people are just too thick or full of crap to know when to stop or shut the fuck up.
the fare was 11+. and my mom offered him a TIP.

WTF.

my eyes, which had been rolling nearly all journey rolled a few extra rounds in my socket. i couldn't believe my eyes. so i bolted outta the taxi dragging whatever bundles that were in my reach. but not before i heard my mom patiently thanking him for his trouble and him reluctantly accepting her tip in the end and thanking her.

so. FAKE.
@$#%$%^$%&^%#$@#$@#!@$^^*#%&@$@.

what sort of strategy was it loh? making him feel bad for scolding my aunt a hokkien cuss word for the male genitalia? what use would it have. he will only learn if i stick my fist right THROUGH his damn face, before rendering him a mangled corpse in the butchery. using all the tools and technology available at my command. hah.

and henceforth, today was a lousy day. but why should i let such a low-life (and not because of his occupation) ruin my mood, huh. so i'm here, blogging it out. purging these contaminants off society off my mind and where they belong: in the gutter amongst rotting bodies of dead vermin.. in fact, below them even.

oh yeah.
2. i am not rich. in fact, my family is -just- subsisting on my father's income. and i think an honest roadsweeper's just as fine as an honest president in the istana. jobs are jobs. as long as you do a good and honest job it's fine with me. i don't care who you are. but if you're a jerk, yeah. i bother. and i will go all out of my way to ignore you totally if you cross me the wrong way. so don't call me a high-society chick who looks down on ppl with lowly jobs just cos you somehow manage to sympathise with that asshole cab driver.

3. so. you're still thinking i'm making a mountain outta a molehill? well so what. it may seem like a small thing to you. but put yourself in my place in my shoes in my mood at that time. when i think about it, yeah. sure. trivial matter. why bother, right?

finefine. there are worse people than that.

i STILL recall CLEARLY this time back in sec2. i was standing in the crowded mrt. no handholds. just me, my large overstuffed bagpack and tons of people sandwiching me from all directions. my friends also had barely enough space.
i was fat. still am fat. but i was fatter then, looking even larger in my sec sch uniform.. pleats billowing out in all directions. held in place by only a narrow strip of cloth: the belt.

fine. it's my fault for being right in your face, carrying my schoolbooks and being large, issit?
it's my fault for buying those books and putting them into my bag and enrolling in a school, issit?
it's my fault for not moving when all around me are people?
it's my fault that i am not obedient enough to your command, to push those people aside to make way for your ROYAL HINEY ISSIT?

well. congrats.
you have been granted the extremely exalted PRIVILEGE to call my school and COMPLAINT against me.
go on, take out that black cellphone of yours and dial my school's number.
oh, and why don't you do it in front of me too. adds to the excitement.
my school? yeah yeah, you're correct. on the spot.
i'm from SNGH when i am not even wearing their trademark CLOTH BADGE.

HELLLO KNUCKLEHEAD.

and hello society.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:35:00 PM