Wednesday, January 15, 2003

feeling damn sleepy now.. and kinda pissed.. still alot of activity going on in my house.. haix.. tml gotta wake up at 5am and chiong the bathroom before my sis uses it.. ugh.. these few days she's been bathing first.. and i'm like *rushrushhuffpuff* to sch.. not that i mind la.. i dun care.. let me be late, she early can liao.. dun give a shit la.. at most just do yeoman and stay in sch till 6 to collect my blardee ezlink card.. or better still.. dun bring ANY id at all.. or handphone.. or whatever shit.. just myself, my specs, my writing instruments, and my books. nerdification of dith. would be a good change.
that way the blardee sch can't do anything right? maybe i wun even bring my wallet. haha.. sian1/2..

bloody hell.. why am i feeling kinda pissed now? am i pissed that i put pleasure before studies? am i pissed that ever since i've entered jc i've been on a slacking spree, a spending spree, trying-to-change-my-image spree, etc? i know the rebellious streak has always been in me since young.. but i can curb it right? now's reli not the time for defiance. esp to the teachers who will be handling my prelim results and my testimonial.. if need be.. it's time to swallow my pride and ask them for help. all of them. i should change.

but i keep telling myself. tml.. tml i'll do this, i'll do that.. or next month i'll work hard.. promise! or.. next week la.. hand it in next week.. empty promises.. like my mom said.. making promises to myself.. and breaking them.. i'm only making my life more wack than it already is, the person who loses all the shit is me.

ME ME ME ME ME.

all about me.

din do anything today either. maybe i'll just take out the notes needed for tml's prac, den sleep.. until 5am tml.. i will wake up.. promise! that's what i tell myself every morning.
in the end, i find myself crawling outta bed an hour and a half later, it seems, of late.

arGh.
i hate myself.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:43:00 PM