Thursday, January 23, 2003

I wonder how i am gonna survive without coming online. Singnet is now revoking its toll-free promotion, and mysingtel (aka zapsurf) is charging an access fee of 2 cents/min on top of its standard phoneline charge. I guess that would make 2.7 cents / min on peak hours for zapsurf per min, and hence $1.12 per hour. What the hell is with that? ok... They're trying to push sales of broadband services innit? Okok singnet/zapsurf, I get your drift. I'm obselete, on my snail-crawling 56k modem. uGH. dammit. this sucks. large companies (in this case, part of an oligopoly) using marketing ploys AND methods to direct sales in that direction. fuck it. _|_

Quite pissed over that, as you can tell... *sigh*

Sitting in LL for gp prj presentation. last group's presenting. i think this spanned a total of 2 weeks' worth of gp periods. Not reli a waste of time. i can stone, or paper blog, just pretend that i'm copying notes diligently. heard that pe dept's after my ass again. Nothing new. ms ong gonna tell mdm foo.. also nth new. bleh. as if i give a damn.

Just was listening to mrs leow going on about organ selling and stuff. to sell your body after you die. especially if you're in debt. bones can even be ground to make gum, organs can be sold, in fact the whole body can be used. She also went on about Calcutta, and a book that documentated events in it. organ selling, body selling, etc. People dying on the streets every single night, and in the mornings, pavements would be littered with corpses. nameless, faceless, to be cleared away like trash. Tourists going there armed with digicams and living in 5-star hotels, yet leaving after a day or two at the sight of dead bodies littering the luxurious exterior of the hotel to trod amongst ppl barely able to subsist on what morsels they may be fortunate enough to find, yet hardly enough to sustain life for a normal lifespan.

Tourists leave. not out of horror nor fright; i'm sure they knew the consequences before they decided on the visit, but did not anticipate their own embarrassment when they, clad in the clothes of the affluent, living in comparable palaxes to the hard dusty cold street, had to walk amidst the poor, miserable civillians, who, are NOT there by choice, NOT there for a holiday, but are there living day to day as tho it is their last, for what seems an eternity, until they pass out, to be swept off the pavement for even more people in worse plights to huddle in the once warm spot.

class gonna take blood screening test lata in the reading room. yucks. i'm so calmn here, which is so unlike me. reason being that i'm not gonna take it. can't stand it. won't stand it. yeah.. me and my great fear of needles/jabs/immunisations/injections. whatchamacallit? needle-o-phobia? (note to self: find the scientific term! :P) i told, yes, i told... not to sound rude or anything, but i told my mom that: "i can't. please tick the box not consenting to immunisations in sch, but neither am i gonna take it from my family doc, and sign on the dotted line."

Sad to say this, but suicide was on my mind the last time i had to take a needle. and it was just a measley mantoux test (aka skin test) to check the level of my immunity towards... eh... tubercolosis? is that what BCGs protect against? no idea. fell into despair, depression, friends got all irritated with me, i shunned society. and on the day itself, i appeared in sch all trembly and white.. haix.. think it was caused by a past bad experience, was one of the last ones to take it, so scared like hell.. haix..

i know you're prob looking at the comp screen now thinking: "what the hell?!"

-dith 10+am, LL
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:32:00 AM