Thursday, February 13, 2003

posting an earlier-written entry now..

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monday 10th feb 2003

"now i'm slacking in 412... rainy day today. kinda suits my foul mood. no one who saw mi today could tell. why should i show sth i can so easily conceal? life in aj; life in society. we are so accustomed to disguising our true feelings, putting on a fake front and just hauling our sore butt thru life till we get some alone time... finally. i reli din feel like facing anymore yest; din feel like showing up for sch. but i can't. i'm in such big shit. gotta face up to all my tutors. blood suckers. it's not the workload that's stressing mi out. it's the pple. anw, the fact that i am able to maintain this waxed on smile is cos of jes... many thanks! *muakx* i ponned pe today and just nice she had free periods thruout. joy to the world! glory glory halleuiagh! =) reli made my day.
i was talking, smiling and laughing in the reading room... like normal. ^-^ ahh.. twas great.. the solace i sought for was found.. for 2 hours. pe ended, i was in the canteen and i saw my classmates. first words that were uttered. not a standard greeting, but a chilling stab in my face. 'meredith. mr lim wants to see you.' or whoever. i dun even know the names of the pe teachers properly. mood made a 90 degree dip. luckily many years of training helped me maintain my posture. i mentally straightened myself, brushed myself off, mumbled a 'yea' and crashed into my seat feeling like a mouldy spit wad.
math tut. happiness! i was prepared. so i had the privilege to partially stone... altho i was also brooding and moping around, i din show it. merely grimaced at the desk before me, keeping quiet. blehx.. gp lesson ended. bye~ phy prac torture now..."
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:31:00 AM