Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Thoughts outside LT1...

thot perhaps i might blog on paper again. having econs lect now. so i'm generally free to slack around. jessie not in sch today. neither is jes, i think. plus, i'm like so slpy + lethargic now. haix.. wat to do? life in sch. got back my chem test yest. 50% = D grade. just heard there's a retest for those who got D and below. GAH. i guess i brought it upon myself anw. who asked mi not to study? blehs. oh yah. damn mdm foo. uGh. i'm so tired today. jokingly asked her if can dun take test n get zero. she got pissed cos yest i din wanna take the damn thing. early half day yest wat. wanna go out play. have fun, slack around. typical teen behaviour. =/ haix. granted, she has a perfectly GOOD reason to feel this way. putting in so much time n effort for mi. den i'm so... blehs. anw, she said she din want mi to retake the AO chi exam. blast it lah. it's MY moolah, my decision. why dun you just bugger off? like the saying goes, moolah makes the world go round, right? -_-; sian1/2. too tired to go online. too slpy to blog if i do. just spend the time chatting about endless shit. sapping mi of energy the next day, depriving mi of slp. making my mom nag at mi, giving mi damn panda eyes. uGh. =( haix~ bad news. hols equals to zilch. nada. nil. packed with chem lessons so far. haix. gonna spend the march hols cheming away. no time for fun. who needs fun anw? j2 liao. fun shouldn't be in my vocabulary. shouldn't beb in my iteninary, capacity. ='( must force miself to be semi-nerd from term2 onwards or my target of AAAs will be BLASTED to shit pieces. hopes of anything similar will be dashed. can go uni anot? why singapore liddat? must go nursery, kindergarden, primary, secondary, jc, university. those who go by other routes or miss out are kinda looked down upon and osctracized for not being the bright individuals they are perceived to be. hey, there are 6 pointers in poly too, ya know? decisions decisions. it reli depends what ya wanna do, i guess. dun get mi wrong. i'm not saying i'm stressed here. just.... dunno. sian?

today met yf at tpy mrt. hmmm. should i exclaim and say:"finally!" ? -_- at least i think he's now not avoiding mi. but i dunno. uGh. he turned around as he was heading down e stairs and waved, plus he waited for mi to catch up. did he know i was trailing him? like i mentioned before: no. i do not like him that way. verbatim. perhaps i'm just reading it the wrong way...? blehs. today talking to him in the train. asked him wat he did yest. since it was short day. he said he was in tpy watching movie. i looked at him anhd kinda teased:" with who who? =X " ahah.. dunno if it was admittance or a deliberate attempt to keep mi at bay or sth. he sort of half shyly half firmly (with some finality to his tone?) said:" with girlfriend. " hmm. i knew it way beforehand, dun worry. but today he was smsing her, going to meet her. so i bid farewell to him at yck mrt and went off my solitary way, dowan be lightbulb lar.. -_-; anw he also dowan mi around what. (haix. classmate sitting across mi just asked mi what i was doing. i gave a blur face ?_? and said i dunno also. and that i was stoning. yaaah.. right. i'm writing paper blog. and this means, mind ur own beeswax! -_-) haix. nvm lar. i wun admit that i'm writing paper blog. blehs. lata ev1 will want to go see see the site. k.p.o. my life wun be private anymore. sad sad. since i complain alot about my classmates also...

now, where was i prior to that interlude? oh yah. yf's gf. he mentioned before her name is alicia. hmm. offhand i couldn't remember. but after seeing her profile n hearing her characteristic voice today, plus recalling that she's an ij tp gal from 4A1... i think i know who. (update: CONFIRM LIAO) just gotta check the yrbook. if i'm not wrong, it's.. HER.

GOSH. (NO OFFENCE YF..... but......) OMG! OMG! YF YOU DUNNO WHO UR UP AGAINST!! can't believe it. gah. no way. yucks. *faints* him and her............... eEekk.. but watever. as long as he's happy..... *shrug* i still think he's tons way better than her. yep. nvm nvm nvm. to each their own. i still cannot get over this. uGh. later she corrupt him. (sorry yf if you read this. reli sorry. >.<) i just have this... grudge against her, i guess. arGh.... i wun elab. it might get vulgar in here... x_X

as for mi, i got my own private secrets and thots and infatuations and crushes that i wun reveal. wun even wanna admit to myself in the hope that it might just go away. yep. go away. but i keep thinking.. ugH... nearly told master about it. uGh. haix.. was thinking that day about guys also. what does it mean when.... _____ (insert action/gesture/particular behaviour here) yep. wat exactly does it mean. i mean, like all ppl, diff guys have diff standards. like one of my frens. v touchy feely with gals n ev1 else. but there's obviously nth going on. cos he's liddat to all his gal pals.. yep.. and besides, he has a gf. haha.. but for others lei.. >.< dowan to think too much into this. if there's sth. well.. fine. i'm greatly and thoroughly honoured. but pls pls pls. leave mi be until the As are over. i decided i wanna be like nig. carefree and uncaring about all of this shit. other things are much more impt! yeah~ i also agree... =)

hey.. gtg. continue later. rem that i still gotta continue about my tekong trip? =) oh yah. gun or rifle, wadeva. i dun give a damn. cos guess what? it's my blog. i write what i like, erroneous or not. so scram. beat it. blah. =P

tataZ~ ttyl dear bloggie!
wUv dith (^-^*)
10.45am tues 11/03/03 <-- gp lect now!!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:56:00 AM