Saturday, March 17, 2007

beez

been buzzing about.

i feel like the beetles that fly in from time to time, mimicking the same action they always do; ramming their exoskeletal brown bodies against the light, the wall, the window.

tchik tchik tchik

work is terrible. nearly reduced me to a mess last week. i was dreading the monday that came and went. thankful for a presence that suddenly reappeared.

actually i have many presences to thank for my sanity.
it's strange, really. how i find solace in game.
but the solace i find, and my inability to exercise self-restraint, it inhibits my happiness in a sense.

so. you ask why.

it's a vicious cycle, really.
in my quest for solace and avoidance of the dawning of the next day (which of course, bodes work and more work. damn that four letter word) i hide myself in game and stay there for insanely long periods of time. for hours on end. and then i go to work the next day feeling terribly drained and no more happier than i did the previous day, which of course boils down to a big negative on my self-fulfilment scale. or i could call it maslow's hierarchy of needs.

and there are the missing people.
well, one actually.

and there are the holes and the pieces that fit somewhat. like how a circle is similar to an oval but is not, or how a rectangle is an unequal square.

but like the cube that that has enough corners added onto it, it can be shaped into a circle. a circle is a shape with infinite sides. reshaping kamo. it's funny really, replacements. or should i say, supplements? sounds like taking multivitamin to nourish beyond the standard 3-meal diet.

i can get angry at no one in particular when i'm tired.
i can sleep anywhere yet i can don't sleep.
i can don't miss yet i can miss.

do i make sense?
no i don't.
i don't intend to make sense anyway.

2 hour journey home gave me time to think and sleep.
weird, how i put think and sleep together.
can one think while sleeping?
perhaps.
they say memory improves while asleep.

i don't like to keep too many spare tyres, but i'm afraid the main tyre will puncture one day. but those spare tyres, i've never used them before, don't know how to change a tyre. don't even know what ulu brand, i might skid on the road. better stick with my original tyres.

ooo my eyes closed.
i am falling asleep.
i dreamt of work.
what else is new.

actually i forgot why i was blogging.
another post about nothing.

i fell asleep again.
a sign for me to climb into bed.
tata.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:08:00 AM