Tuesday, May 29, 2007

ramble*

another post about nothing. whoohoo.
yeah totally feeling moodless, don't feel like blogging properly. too tired too.
i feel totally disconnected.
my old friends are leaving and i'm out in a new environment suddenly.
new faces, new experiences.
everything's coming at me so fast, i got nth to hold on to.
perhaps that's why i am constantly in a bad mood.

feel sux every single day and it's a background niggling feeling.
maybe it's the weather at play too.

hmm, in pleasing others do i seek to please myself?

i can't understand anything suddenly.
please don't make me do a freudian analysis.

today was an alright day i suppose, in terms of events.
work, getting lost while looking for the new office, late, paint smell, choking feeling, after unpacking comp nth to do, makan at queensway area, ice cream at ikea, gameshop no more ps2 game, disappointed, took bus to tpy, impulsively decided to go yishun gameshop, bought 3 games on impulse, went esprit at yishun, stoned there 1hr+ hours trying on clothes, spent 60 bucks on jeans and a long sleeve top, went city hall, had to wait for 1hr for them to come, fuck i nearly lost my temper there and then, ira ira shiteiru, thank goodness i'm calm, watched them have yami yogurt, tried clothes for fun, sigh people don't believe when i say i cannot wear this cut or that is too small for me, believe me, i know my body better than you know mine, DOH, went durian see harmonica, went home, feet painful, ate like a pig when i got home, played audi, now i am here.

self gratification.
how does one attain it?
so many ways.
one of which is making people happy.
through that, can i truly make myself happy?
isn't it like 2nd hand smoke?
derivation of pleasure thru others?
or is it simply using others to attain self fulfilment?

man.
then isn't everyone everyone else's whore?
sheesh.

but i don't mind being a whore of happiness.
sex me up with a smile yea.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:12:00 AM