Sunday, June 10, 2007

mou dekinai

out of the blue sms one time.
and also found out a friend flying off but seems i'm the last to know.
i'm used to being out of the loop; it's ok actually.
feels like i'm doing many wrong things too.
i tell people wrong thing, i do wrong things at work.
think i'm not cut out even to be living on this earth.
everything would be disastrous if i'm there.
i can only say hi at aunties and give simple directions.
think i should be a personnel at the counter.
maybe i should strive to be a professional road sweeper.
i hate it.
feel so demoralized.
feel that, am i so boring and useless i can't brighten up the atmosphere? or i can do anything? do also do so slow? think tortoise faster than me sia.

AM I SO BORING?
AM I SO MUNDANE?
AM I SO USELESS?
AM I SO TALENTLESS?

i'm damn sad.
and i had illusions i was unique and quite smart and quite interesting.
looks like i should have condemned myself to be aborted in the first place zzz.
sigh.
i can't do anything properly.
who needs a person like me?
think if i am a road sweeper, i also cannot sweep properly.
sure kena complained.
and if i am those banglah worker, i cannot even carry the heavy things or fix up the things or what.
useless man, utter uselessness.
ya man, i think construction worker job damn hard.
i will also make mistakes there.
ya i'm sad and demoralized.

and very very tired.

k la i don't wish to continue le.
no mood.
don't blame me if i don't online much.
and even if i online, i nv reply you.
bad mood.
will be gaming.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:46:00 AM