Sunday, August 31, 2008

Core (in)competencies

nothing to do, just feel like typing randomly here. made like the typical singaporean and joined 10 million other people at suntec city for comex 2008. pushing past various types of people, a number of strollers, narrowly missing some stray kids (or what was left of them). didn't help that the day started badly with me in a bad mood since leaving the house. (we were late meeting a friend). add the 10 million other bodies emanating body heat, generating bio waste, as well as letting loose noise and thought pollution (argh my brain hurts with all that neural noise).

well, good news is that, got my sis her lappie. not too happy though, but that's totally unrelated to the computer. (chotto ano namae ni bingan suru). anyway, since it was out of stock, got it on preorder and coerced her to get pink. sounds simple enough, but when one is trying to get past 10 million other people all moving in different directions, suddenly it makes a matter of 100m or less a mountainous challenge. just think about it. ASUS-MSI-BENQ-HARVEYNORMAN-ACER-ASUS-MSI if i had the map on hand i might even trace our path out for you. me, my sis and with vin in tow we braved the crowd.

after sis left, looked at other stuff. routers, flash drives, card readers and stuff. then left to look at gashapon and toys. felt so much better when not crowding with the crowd. got some cute gashapon toys. mood improved, quite happy for some inane reason. happy until felt like could eat a horse. so went to eat japanese buffet - non stop sashimi.

managed to settle something that might potentially escalate to some conflict. (actually i think it wouldn't, but i do have a conscience. contrary to popular belief!) kinda sad i couldn't join wen for shopping. yet also kinda happy with how my day went. wrapped up the day (or rather, night) walking in chinatown looking for that indian sailor crap seller of junk but couldn't find his stall. rofl. got freaked by ghost stories then went on my way home.

somehow, i never noticed such mental capacity. i am impressed. my mind should feel stimulated, but it isn't. instead i am left dumbfounded. while i like having power over others, it makes all things imbal. power is invigorating, but never lasting. it's never fun to play with an opponent in kof whom you know you can smash to a pulp and win 3-0 every time. we all need some challenge in life.

the Wii retails for $469. thinking about it... just thinking about it... "Wii will make you happy!" they claim. my television sucks. imagine if i cart a 32" tv to japa class today. ROFL. i doubt i could even fit through the door. much less the back door. squandering $45+$2 today to see if i can pass JLPT2 come dec this year. the forms have been filled, the pictures have been pasted. (note to self: i am all out of passport photographs) what's left to do? STUDY of course. hmm. 90+ days left. approx 3 months. blah. just thinking about it makes me sian.

life is still as boring. i don't like certain aspects of it, but it's hard to change. like ingrained habits and ingrown toenails, they persevere deep within the soul. at my core, i am still inherently unhappy. the source is probably easily identifiable but i don't wish to chip at the flesh to expose my core.

and look! so fast it is monday soon. i think a part of me has just died again.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:40:00 PM

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Genre: Documentary
Director: Lian Pek
RunTime: 1 hr 32 mins
Released By: Shaw
Rating: PG

Opening Day: 7 August 2008

Synopsis:

Have you ever seen 10,000 students learning English from one teacher – all at the same time? Have you ever met a detective whose mission impossible is to arrest bad grammar? Or encountered a 74 year-old retiree who thinks nothing of ambushing foreigners on the streets just so he can practice his English? Or heard a Chinese policeman speak English in a New York Bronx accent?

If you haven't, catch Mad About English! - the amazing story of 1,000,000,000 people and their MAD MAD MAD rush to learn English! As the clock ticks down to next month's Olympics, China 's love affair with the English language has reached feverish proportions. With half a million or more visitors descending on Beijing for the Games, can the Chinese pull it off with their newly-acquired English? Mad About English! follows the inspiring and heart-warming efforts of a city preparing to host the world by learning a once-forbidden tongue.

Movie Review:

Having won the bid to the Olympics, China began an extensive foray of preparation to usher the new found glory of welcoming international guest to their land. Having building massive architectural marvels like the National Aquatics Center ("Water Cube") and the National Stadium (aka Bird's nest), one major hurdle faced the majority of its population. Language. What is a host to do if they can't communicate with their own guest? Hence a major sweep of English madness was entrusted upon the people with hilarity ensured.

One might be a little weary of the preceding of such matter. Culture aside, we've seen countless of viral emails or site ridiculing the inappropriateness of some rather peculiar English use in the region from menus to store signs and instructions. Admit it, we've laughed at it and then came this little documentary that was thought going to aggravate the situation to the never ending satire. Well, that was the vibe i was getting from the trailer personally. But behold upon descending and flowing through it, i can't help but smile a little at the effort and determination they bring themselves to upgrade and make sure they do their country proud. And its not only just about the up coming event, its also about the blooming measures and cue that China is catching up with the pace and certainly in this documentary that the depth of the evolving future is truly embraced.

Labeled as a docu-comedy, Lian Pek, once one of the most recognizable broadcast journalist, stepping into the seat of a director, does a great job capturing the charm and quirkiness of the people. Beautifully captured by Tong Zhijian, the ever changing landscape of urban Beijing let us take a look from the native point of view. And many points did they spread from retiree Jason Yang (who set up Golden Years English Salon), Li Yang (nick named, Crazy English Teacher, who became the spokesperson of English learning in China), Qi Qi (Eleven year old student in English boot camp), Meng (The taxi driver, trying to earn a pass for his English test so he could drive during the Olympic duration), Dr David Tool (the grammar cop, who goes around inspecting bad English signs) and lastly Lui Wenli ( a policemen who loves to master different accent, having his favorite - Brooklyn New York!).

All is not fun most of the time as we see each colorful character struggle to make ends meet and fall upon tested. Learning English for them doesn't just mean better communication, it also meant livelihood that they could bring themselves for their future. Documentaries like these are one in a million and capturing the essence of it all on film, priceless.

review source: movieXclusive.com

Caught this local movie today. Humourous outlook, yet kinda touching at times. Powerful and incredulous sometimes. For once, I think we have stumbled upon a gem in local cinema. Perhaps we Singaporeans have found our forte in this film business. We should stick to formats we excel in, like news and documentary instead of saga upon saga of heartlander issues or getai-style forays into sell-outs and nothingness. *cough* fallen idol *cough*

So for those of you who haven't caught it, please go catch Mad About English! by Lian Pek, in cinemas now. This is worth a DVD purchase. I'm serious. THE OLD 74 YEAR-OLD UNCLE SHOULD BE A NATIONAL HERO. ("I'm so exciting!" he chirps happily while walking up some stairs.) Mary the Chinese physician rocks too. ("Undo your shirt" she smiles happily.) and who can forget the future politician of China, the man who shouts English for a living? Somehow his name eludes me. But it is of no matter; his power will forever echo within my memory.

So get out your moneys please. Be watching this! Very much exciting so! Thankyou you and be welcome! Sure cause explosions of humourous sounds! I am not boring after watching this, in fact, I am too exciting to be sleep! Watch please you, please!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:10:00 AM

Thursday, August 28, 2008

hmm. lethal combination of pms, work stress and the evil triangles and squares in my life.

but i am back on my feet again.

sleeping insanely early does help.

The Realm of Dreams (in-between) - Healing
The Realm of the Living (reality) - Pleasure and Pain
The Realm of the Dead (negative space) - Perpetual Silence (and Eternal Peace?!)
The Realm of Work (zombies, zzz-monsters, zha2 *junks*, zha4dan4 *bombs*, zoo) - Mad Tangle of Spaghetti and Messy Meatballs
The Realm of Play (aka non-work) - Haphazard Hedonism

*and that's all for today's update*
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:25:00 PM

Monday, August 25, 2008

hmm i give up trying to type here after staring at this page for eons =x
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:31:00 AM

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Since Monday it has been cold and wet, cold and wet.
Office air conditioning seems colder than it is.
My sneezes permeate the silence.
Lambasted with used tissues my waste paper basket heaves.
And I slouch, struggling to survive the rest of the day.
On Thursday I was almost dead, and extremely hungry.
So I ate three lozenges, every two-hourly.
On Friday my throat mimicked sandpaper.
I showed it the finger.
Think next week I need to take MC already.
Pushing myself to wake up, go out, have fun.
No point staying at home embracing bouquets of used tissues.
Share the joy, share the germs! =D

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:14:00 PM

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The First Consciousness

My Nokia 5300 fell to the MRT floor, and the screen went dark. To add insult to injury, that phone was already spoilt and thus it became more-spoilt. "Curses!", I proclaimed, and the whole cabin heard me - yet did not turn to look; their silent, unmoving backs as if witnessing a funeral.

I had to get Somewhere, do Something, but I was not quite sure of yet. I just had an inkling, this nagging within my gut. Follow my hunches. I thought.

Something had happened at work, and they were trying to pound it to a pulp, pound it till it ceased from being a wriggling, live thing, to a flat, bloody, dead mess. And then they would excavate somewhere unprominent and then hurl the carcass into the ground (yes, I deliberately used the word 'carcass' instead of 'corpse', for that's what they had made it become) where it -hopefully- would not be unearthed by nosy employees and itchy-fingered news reporters.

I knew - and they knew I knew - so I did the best thing I could do - I ran.

But with the MRT crawling at a speed comparable to that of a mollusc on salt, and my phone three-quarters dead, and like the salt that mollusc crawls upon, I am additionally unfit for stamina-related events, there was little I could do about running per se. So I did the next best thing - I tried to hide.

However, I am not a very small person. In fact, I am quite large. So it is quite hard to hide. Couple that with the fact that I was wearing something rather bright and that the organisation I had been slaving for was rather big, that would be very hard to accomplish too.

So I was on my way to find one of the afore-mentioned itchy-fingered news reporters. Uncover their malpractices I shall! I thought, while repeatedly dropping my already more-spoilt-further-spoilt-think-it-is-dead-time-to-get-a-new-one phone on the MRT floor, while people with their backs turned towards me quietly appreciated my rhythmic cacophony of mobile madness.

8:00 And then my alarm rang

The Second Consciousness

The first thing I remember was a sense of difference. I was sure of it. The whole house smelt of it.

And then I remembered my house had been under renovation. But was the renovation complete? I couldn't tell. There was no evidence of plaster dust nor white footprints nor fingerprints. There were no renovating tools left lying around. It was just as it had been, only different.

The first sign of difference were the double windows in my sister's room. And the nail. It was embedded into the wall, pinning a ribbon of metallic material to the wall. "That would be our new clothesline", the voiceless narrator behind me announced. So I pulled the ribbon taut and tied it to a bedpost, where it hence resembled a (rather makeshift) clothesline. "Will it fray?" I inquired, examining the material. "No it will not" the Voice said. "It is of a special metallic material and thus will not tear nor fray." "Good", I uttered with much disbelief.

The second sign of difference occurred not because I noticed it, but because it happened. That is a proactive difference. I was exiting my sister's room with the Voice when suddenly there was a loud sound and the prefabricated wall panel in front of me came loose and crashed to the side. "EGADS" I shrieked like a girl, which somehow I wasn't in this world. (I was more genderless, or perhaps leaning to that of a male human) This wall panel was not particularly connected to any room, so I had expected to see a long drop down and perhaps people's washing hanging out on bamboo poles out to dry with pigeons roosted and leaving their white-green-sometimes yellow fecal matter all out on the sill.

But there was no edge. It was another room. And we walked into it, the Voice and I. Even he was silent. This was the difference that sparked a whole chain of differences until I cannot count any further than two, for it then becomes infinity. And I sure as hell did not want to waste my time counting infinity, for I only have a finite number of years to live and a finite time to regal in this odd dream of mine.

This room was bare, save for a long narrow door in the left corner in the furthest wall in the room. I opened it, expecting the unexpected (which is not much expecting after all, since you don't know what to expect). It opened with relatively much ease, and I expected a smell to overwhelm me, for it had opened into what seemed the central rubbish chute in a HDB flat, only with removal of the chute and the addition of a door so you could see right down it. But it was bigger and wider that a normal central chute, but you get the idea, right? Below was a tiled floor, reminiscent of the small white bathroom tiles in some houses - the old-fashioned (and cheap) kind, which often pops out when too much water is afflicted upon it. There were a few bags of trash lying on the really clean floor below, with even a cupboard and a dustpan and broom in the corner. There was a door leading to the outside, where the rubbish truck would come collect all the trash and the cleaner would go in and sweep the floor's trash into the truck.

Talk about reverse waste removal from an entity.

Anyway, I digress. Apart from the new areas in my house, I have yet to mention I walked into the dining room and found it occupied. Four or five people sat around the dining table (which I don't have in real life) that was covered in a white lace tablecloth. They sat with pokerface and pokercards until I couldn't tell the difference between card and face.

The best thing was, I didn't know any of them at all. There were these Africans, then there were these Bangladeshis and then you have your typical ABC (American Born Chinese) and perhaps some random Asians. Well, I settled myself onto an empty seat at the table and proceeded to make conversation. In my attempt to find out what was happening, I pretended to be friendly, like a host, because this was my house in the first place. And the next best thing was, they had no inkling of how they had appeared there, just remembered strolling and the next thing they knew they had been seated here and supposed to play poker. (But some of them didn't) What irritated me the most (and I don't mean to be racist, but if having a racist dream means I am racist then so be it) were the scattering of foreign workers around my house which I discovered while exploring the house after that poker table incident, and they ate my leftover Briyani in the fridge and my pandan cake and my food (but they paid compliments to the chef, who was my mom - my mom does not cook Briyani in reality so this is odd. In fact, the Briyani she once attempted to cook was quite not-nice).

So after trying to weasel out information from the ABC/Asian fellows (who were exceedingly good-looking in this dream of mine) I remembered I had to take a shower so I excused myself. Thus, upon looking for my room (I admit I was lost in this strange house of mine) I encountered the fridge-raiding foreign workers and the ones languishing on my bed/couch/chairs.

And then quite suddenly, I was somewhere totally unlike my house. I was in a space between what seemed to be my house and a public vicinity. For I spotted my colleague waiting with a stalk of rose in one hand at a Chinese restaurant. Not that there was any queue, but it seemed he was waiting for someone and thus stood in front of the counter near the neat row of overturned chairs lining the entrance to cause a bottleneck during peak hours.

I glanced, and took this escalator down. I had arrived, at what seemed, the concrete jungle of Changi Airport Terminal 3. Did I want to watch a movie? Because I found myself in front of one of those stations very much like AXS and it was advertising Avatar: The Last Airbender MOVIE. Wow, I thought, my sister would love this. But it seemed to be screening in Europe and Japan and America but not Singapore. So odd, I thought, and the Voice agreed with me, startling me, for I had ceased to remember his presence after much dormancy.

I remember I transited between Airport and Home many many times. For what, I cannot remember. Blame the random neural firing in my brain that causes strange dreams like these. I kept seeing my colleague waiting, and then finally he gave up and had a long argument with the airport staff about how he did indeed call the person and give the person (or people) the correct coordinates, and did he inform them the airport had since been renovated? No, already adamant, but it was new anyway and client had never come here before so there wasn't any change in reality to be noticed. Even so, thunderous and booming by now, you ShOULD have. And the shouting match continued as a ascended and descended the escalator, the yellow and black steps churning churning through my lost mind.

9:40 mu smsed, and I fell back into the world of what-is-proclaimed-to-be-reality
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:05:00 AM

Friday, August 22, 2008

one eye ^BEEG one eye _smallsmall

maa, i spent half an hour staring at darling's entry because it was so entertaining.
XD

btw darl, my reply counted meh? LOL.
at work i can't even see ur msn priv msg =x

i'm so hungry now and becoming the sneezerator.
sigh sigh~

at least i have 2 Goodwood Park DURIAN snowskin mooncakes in my fridge and it was 20% off! yumyumyum~~~~~~ and a little pigpig too. hee.

weekend here i come!
(although i am somewhat ill. blehs)

work-life integration talk?
i knew that already. =)
the inherent things and commonsensical that no one seems to get.
ah~~~
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 7:23:00 PM

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Nobody sang:
it Never was important/there is Nothing left here for me;
and the world came to a standstill in the mind of No one.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:34:00 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

i do believe i am falling to the ill wind.
my throat is scratchy, and i have a headache.
the days are getting increasingly frigid.
and the temperature regulation on the soles on my feet regularly malfunction.

nothing, nothing keeps it at bay.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:41:00 PM

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

i just can't stand to be online anymore.
all i wanna do is go lie in my bed.
maybe with a book.
of course with my handphone cos it will wake me up.
with my cow pillow.
the green blanket of mine pulled up to my chin.
the traffic noises outside.
sleeping everything away.

because in the realm of dreams,
even the bad things are perfect.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:44:00 PM

On Occasion
i feel like an insect,
carelessly flung away, not
deliberately, but simply
by the force of momentum and
distance-crossing.

Like The Supernatural,
fleeting, fleeing, i
exist. being
around yet not around.
for something does not exist
if you do not
acknowledge its humble
presence. i am
here, and always will
be. like the flea
coexisting in your hide i
am. like the bacteria in your gut i
am. like the hair on your nose i
am. like the breeze in the wind i
am. then i whisper to myself, but if i know i
am, then do i then exist? for i
acknowledge my own presence.

Is This What
they call
accountability?
or the surfacing of
intelligence
or the
making
of the
ego? no
one is sure, not even the
one who declared his own
existence. but i
am, and forever will
be.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:55:00 PM

Monday, August 18, 2008

i seriously think jonathan safran foer writes by the light of the candle, immersed in the swaddling of drunkenness.

but i like.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:58:00 PM

makoto

shui3 luo4 shi2 chu1
an4 jian4 jie3 kai1
zhen1 shi2 kai1 fang4

ano koto wa mou ii yuujin ni misetara,
yappari, onaji koto ga omottanda.
miyasui koto.

actually things are quite obvious.
surprising, but expected.
it's an open secret.

tonikaku, dui4 wo3 lai2 shuo1,
mou nareta. misugita.
there need be no action on my part.

tootta hou ga iin deshou?
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 9:38:00 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Blame not the things that influence you;
but yourself, for being influenced.

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:44:00 PM

hmm. dread going back to work -.-
another week of wishing and hoping for no major thing to happen.
rofl.
but so happy! and so sinful.
bought things again -.- omg.
when i'm using my own money, i'm feeling the pinch. lols.

snacks!
hp sock!
egg pancake!
coconut candy!
garlic lemon mussels and corn soup (MOSburger)!
earrings (LOL again)!

did i buy too many things? o.o
not to mention Fri + Sat spending also.
insane......

like i told darling, it's like. you only have white rice and perhaps some black sauce and sweet potato and salted egg to eat every day. but then suddenly, you start eating pieces of nice meat and the rice is not plain anymore. it has gravy and sometimes it's noodles or even pasta or what. the feeling is like... suddenly indulging in all this, like sheer decadence. i'm not really splurging per se. but all this spending when i used to control so much, feels so decadent.

arr...

and seriously, some people are just insanely gross. ugh... imagine spitting and spitting until there is a pool of spit in front of you... in a public place. even in your home it's bad enough. and everyone is staring at you. and you even get reprimanded and supervised by this man in front of everyone who tells you to clean up and stop it else he will call police. and no, he won't leave until you are done.

seriously, entertaining but otherwise exceedingly gross.
sigh. there's an evil flying roach on the loose.
i'm scared to sleep.

to do list for next week:
make a "No Fishing" sign to stick on my forehead during japa lesson.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:04:00 PM

lols. i am kinda disappointed and frustrated. gone again like the wind. coincidences abound spur my memory to movement. sashimi buffet and triple pasta and chocolate fudge cake.

yeah seriously, 3 ppl cooked pasta ytd. ahma (or rather her mom and bro), antho and my mom. all diff styles tho. heh.

surprises crop up every now and then, but i should be used to their appearance. no action on my part. i just use my two eyes to see. eye power you know. xiu shou pang guan. i don't wish to involve myself when i hardly have enough time to sleep.

my feet are mutating. i think it's the constant aircon and the abuse through high heels. sigh. it is no matter. feet are feet. and i always abuse them. wish we could wear slippers to work though.

i am officially a G2000 girl. with their awesome 70% discount, shirts and bottoms going for $20+ and jackets for $49.90. i have spent $160 buying 1 white jacket and 5 shirts. i could have bought more; but one main deterring factor is the size. i tell you, if i had enough money and the guts to do it, i'd go for reduction in many places. dammit. made me can't wear so many things and i can't fit nicely into standard cutting clothes. grrr.

i have had my hair rebonded. looks natural because i did soft rebonding to take out the kinks and the frizz. basically looks the same but neater because my hair is essentially quite straight after 5 years of not tying it.

and i officially think i might hate mascara. gawd awful. removing makeup after anne's shoot was quite hellish =x but her makeup remover is good! oil-based? and falsies are just WEIRD. curtains/shields -.- rofl. face kinda lost moisture after all that makeup and removing business. so i am definitely not going to use much makeup in the future. mascara is still under contemplation.

hmm. one pet peeve i have is that i need an update of what a person is up to when i am waiting extended periods for him/her. for example, if i am waiting for you at the mrt station, i'd like to know where you are at the moment or what you are doing so i can estimate how long more to wait. if you're bathing, if you're gonna be late, if you're still at home, if you're stuck in a jam, if you're still waiting for the bus, if you're already on the mrt let me know. i know i demand too much, but waiting without a time target in mind is just blah. rofl. sorry am not aiming anyone in particular, just dredging up a topic to write about =x but then again i also make people wait so... xD

reading that gy flared up makes me think back to the time i actually flared up at someone. gets a bit insane xD losing control somehow. liberatingly scary. got the killing feel you know, the sha1 qi4.

alrighty, think i'd better get going. going town to shop randomly. shopping too much lately, it's scary. dreamt i was a citizen in this tall fortress with brown walls and i had to look for something? also became 'popular' for awhile in the dream when someone threw water on me or i got splashed by something, i dunno? then everyone started calling me to tell me people are talking about me and asking where i am because they're interested in the girl with water on her? and then to leave the place, we had to grab this wire and then it would charge up, these orange currents ballooning into shapes and then we could pass through. but the team i was with, one of them was a Special One. he held the thing and a yellow spark shot through, not the orange currents. but he got through anyway. because he can. he can come and go as he likes. and i think they noticed. but i didn't know i was special, too. because i grabbed the wire (and i was apprehensive because i didn't know if i would get electrocuted) and it's not like electricity running through your fingers, stinging you. more like just feeling the cold metal of the wire and then a transference of your body's current into the wire. and using your mind to control the intensity and type. and for me only a weak yellow current ran through. i think they suspected something. because this is the colour of the Special People. but i concentrated harder, and the orange currents started flowing (but at the wrong side LOL) but then i was through. that was probably the most interesting bit of the dream. i suppose this is a dream about work and friends. the fortress is so obviously my cubicle. hmm. lazy to analyse. i'm going out in the rain and joss smoke. ta!
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:47:00 AM

Saturday, August 16, 2008

blur of events

seafood. long beach. chilli crab. garlic crayfish. yumyums.
trying to run in heels. hopping, skipping awkwardly.
eats. and eatings. i fear gout.
curry udon. haato green tea + red bean. happylicious.
shop shop shop. whirl of bags and sales. overwhelmed.
financial freedom, employment entrapment. balancing scales.
smses. non-replies. sleep and early waking hours.
blending into one. melting pot. cryptic thoughts.
oh-so-accuracies.
politics. integral. debating to reveal secrets.
considerations. amusements. hunger. goes back to food.
new places, different people. same people. shadows.
auntie playing psp on bus. uncontrollable hilarity.
opposite sides. same colours. buddies and trying too hard.
dramatic. therapeutic. excitement energizes.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:45:00 AM

J--
Like a bouquet of wine,
You somehow improve with age.
Gone are the sharp flavours,
But maturity; mellow and smooth.
A toast,
UNCLE J JIE MEI! =p

...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 1:38:00 AM

Monday, August 11, 2008

i just had a stupid thought.

if they say

"Geniuses are born, not made."

why can't i say

"Geniuses are made, then born."?

such goes random thoughts when dith brushes her teethses at night.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:11:00 PM

nothing in particular

so dithgusted now by a couple of things.
what, i shall not say.
perhaps not amounting to five.

one of which:
Journey to Centre is just gross.
so.
do. not. catch. it.
don't even consider downloading it.
my advice is to buy the original classic and read it.
pirating such a movie will bring even pirates to shame.

that leaves 4 more.
perhaps 3 involving people and 1 involving myself.
maybe there's more than 5.

oh and today i almost rolled off my seat in the bus because i saw something damn funny on tv mobile.
yeah i chuckled quite loudly at the back of the bus.

crazy me.
but then again, it is my mantra.
without it, the world would be grey.

------------

[National Day Parade Oh Eight]
parade of hilarity.
subsidiary of comic culture and icons.
of bad weather and grey matter lost.
display of fragile fauna and fog.
boom boom boom, it was.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:05:00 AM

Sunday, August 10, 2008

too exciting

gosh!
too much excitement this week!
dunno if it is a good or bad thing.

monday - the bloodz test and the medical checkup. ZOMGs.
wednesday - dept meetingz rofl. guns blazing everywhere.
thursday - panic @ the office wahahahaha + getting stalked + SALMON SASHIMI.
friday - omgz itz friday! OLYMPIC OPENING (and toto opening ROFL)
saturday - ZOMGSSSSSss toto opened! =x NDP08! RAIN RAIN RUSH RUSH ROFL.
sunday - moviez + makanz + shopZzzzzzzzz
next monday - $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$? =x =x =x plus halfday!!!!!!!
next tuesday - dept meetingz ROFL.
next wednesday - another meeting? =O
next thursday - on course + OMGZZZ PAYDAYZZZZZZZ
next friday - TGIF agains!

cycle of the washing machine that is ditha's life now.
MONEY MAKES THINGS SO EXCITING HAHA.
expect some ndp pictures to be posted soon... or not? hehs.

BED!!!!!! EXCITING!
so full and feel like slping ROFL.
NEW GOSSIP !!!!

i know i'm not making sense heh.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:43:00 AM

Thursday, August 07, 2008

it is of no matter; i will try harder.
can't help but feel slow and stupid.
like trying to tie an elaborate bow in the dark.
sounds simple; many things do. but they're tough.
what happened to me? i seemed to have become stupid after i graduated.
maybe i'm just lazy. i should try harder; and i will!
think of the money, just think of the money.

......
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:59:00 PM

hawt yet icy cool phone. wonder if white is exclusive to sg while red/purple is exclusive to another place? this phone is nicer in person. and although it's flimsy first impression, it feels good to sms with. thin, sleek, 3g-enabled. it can play music too and comes with a free bluetooth earpiece. downside is no free microSD card nor phone cable. but no problem, i already have an existing 1g microSD card. however i don't like the card slot. in fact, i hate it. good thing is, power up takes relatively fast, as compared to my old phone, the 5300 xpress music which would take tens of thousands of years to acknowledge my keypresses after turning it on. one feature of new phones which i really adore right now. transferring contacts used to be a hellish and tedious process. now with nokia suite or even bluetooth between two phones, i can synchronize or copy phone contacts and even calendar entries to a new phone. so surprised. best part of the deal? mom paid for me, and it cost all of $28 bucks. 2MP camera, in-built flash and music player. so fun.......

i'm so sleepy! another day with too much excitement. falling asleep. hahahaa. zzz i dreamt abt something regarding name lists and if your name had been registered or used before...

ar, earlier why i felt like i had a lot to blog leh... not toally forgot.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:32:00 AM

Monday, August 04, 2008

prostitution

this ordeal, writ in blood.
ruby red, mortal cusp.
to and fro, back and forth.
wondering why the body has so much to be milked.
so vile, so simple.
mental torture spanning centuries.
dances and flows like a red river.
a storm under the red sky
brewing in the proverbial tea cup
that has since morphed into a tube.
prostitution of blood,
fear a price to pay for security and income.
at what cost?

---------------------

went for medical checkup today.
survived.
still am living, still am breathing.
didn't faint or anything.
just turned random shades of white and green.
you have the basic stuff:
urine test, height and weight, eyesight, colour blindness, physical exam, blood pressure, chest xray. and then of course there's the blood test...
and hearing a male nurse utter the words "menses" with a quiver of embarrassment is quite hilarious. -_-
(think i ought to explain this point of reference. because it is procedural that during the xray you are certified not pregnant and you have to state last menses date. nothing relating to the urine test. yucks i won't go if i have =x)

but the blood test! D:

it's like the inevitable is coming at you.
just a simple thing, meaningless to many.
is such a significant and treacherous colossal conquest of my own fear and mental pain.
not so much the needle did any damage to my skin.
more like the proverbial needle, the fictitious feeling.
the phantom crawling of the needle's roots under my skin.
of my imaginary twisted veins crying out.
the crook of my arm with the plaster a battlescar and the hero of the day.
honestly, piercing my ears hurt more.
but the feelings accompanied - the psychological terror.
my sweaty palms, my racing heart, and the cold sweat that followed after.
my 25% near fainting spell, the speckles clouding my vision, the coldness that gripped my head.
the shakiness of my gait, those awful feelings of perhaps, akin to some when they see gore on television or for guys, watch Hard Candy at certain scenes, or hear nails screech across a chalkboard, or perhaps, glass. maybe it's the feeling when your teeth grind or the horrible feeling when attacked by Styrofoam, i dunno. we all are entitled to our fears, but they all lead to one matter, and that is the psychological consequence of literal hair standing, skin crawling sensations.

the feeling of being exposed.
when you are in a room with the doctor and the needle.
and everything melts away and it's just you. and the needle. and your fear.
mostly your fear.
looking away, hearing the doctor's words vanishing into the distance.
looking at fear as if to infinity - the vanishing point unseen.
just waiting and waiting for it to be over.
cold surgical steel in your skin.
embedded, like the thorn stuck in your side those past few days,
when the mere thought of going for the checkup sent a lump to your throat.
the literal thorn, drawing blood. like from robin red breast it flowed.
a dark crystalline kind of deep red.

horrible beauty.

and the tourniquet applied on my upper arm.
my fist applied, losing strength and growing weaker with every moment.
slowly losing strength; sapped by the removal of my life's liquid.
and the stars whizzed past my head like grey dots in my peripheral vision.
while the moon sang to me a song without words.

do i overreact?
but i did feel faint and 25% blacked out.

too much excitement for the day;
not to mention heated things back in the office - literally.
perhaps you may have seen the news at 630pm.

in a daze, in a haze.
my alien lenses cracked,
showing a distorted world.
jagged needles,
stolen pearls.
ruby red, ruby red.
cried the girl.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 10:59:00 PM

the story about you and i

special spark
ignitus
ignition
turning.

ferris wheel
turnstile
turning
mooring.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:50:00 AM

Sunday, August 03, 2008

haha i'm now into wedges -.-
mad shoe shopping done below 30minutes flat.
got me a dark green wedge and a yellow+black wedge that went for 20% discount.


haha -.-"
altho the pictures aren't indicative of the real thing...
guess you gotta look for me to see!
and yes, i can walk, surprisingly.
if they serve me well, i will patronize their shop again!

watched The Mummy 3.
what can i say? just watched cos friends asked me to. normally i wouldn't.
but ok lah.
see jet li do boliao things, see an angmo trying to masquerade as a chinese general, see nice effects... hear bad chinese until i laughed at every scene they spoke chinese, hear smashing of the terra cotta soldiers until i kept imagining myself in the place where they make those Ming pottery and people smashing and smashing them. (imagine walking pottery). but overall ok. preferred the boliao conversation, the pasar malam, the random skirt impulse buy (hey, $44.90 become $13 leh) without trying size (lucky came home then fit ok)...

think tml going back TPB. =)

it's things like that which keep dith alive... :)
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 11:43:00 PM

Saturday, August 02, 2008

=)

instead of constantly sounding so dreary and down in the dumps, i shall blog about the things i do enjoy and make me smile.

i love pretty things.
fireworks, pretty product designs for gadgets, pretty clouds, pretty sky, flowers aren't too bad, pretty colours, pretty girls =x

i love the night.
peaceful. that's why i don't quite like to sleep at night.

i love to sleep.
submerged in my dream world, nothing can touch me. but referring to the above point... well, i guess some nights i will spend sleeping. however the dreams only come in close to morning like 7am. which explains why i will sleep in till past noon.

i love nature.
wind on my face. rain. nice sunshine. shizen ga suki da. sand between my toes on a beach. however nature is being constantly polluted. hence i really dislike going to explore the elements nowadays.

hmm. pity my thoughts leave me unhappy most of the time. i think i need a holiday. but~~~~~~
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 8:04:00 PM

growing up

the dimming light in my eyes.
experiences never new
fantasies forgotten
that look of wonder lost

jade green jaded
looking past life
into its inevitabilities
congenital incoherence

spark crushed
excitement much exacerbated
a pool of template emotions
to decorate my face

i feel like a cd on repeat
walking with stones in my shoes
and lead on my feet

when i shout i hear an endless echo
plummeting downhill
resigned to future's futility
i know i will bang into that wall;
someday.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 6:53:00 PM

you asked me about the green serpent;
what it was, what it does.
it's money, money, money.
jealousy? envy? perhaps.
money begets such feelings.
although there's never enough.

you asked me about the green serpent;
no coincidence your name resounds of it too.
slithering snake, modeled after a computer game character.
i know what you want.

you asked me about the green serpent;
and shortly followed with queries about my employment.
where's my treat? you asked-demanded.
i know what i owe you but i thought we have severed ties.

you,
somehow always come crawling back.
when i have so successfully kicked you away
if there's no benefit for me
there is no need to meet.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:02:00 PM

membrane

the matrix of a thousand skies
tangled, weaving
intravenous
integrity-bound

took wings, she did
but pinned to the ground
flapping, flapping
treadmill of filth.

sight and sound
they make no sense
yet encompass the world

all these sensations
all these emotions
they are not hers
yet she controls them

skylight
scarlet
third-party syndrome

walled-out
glass door
banging into what i cannot see

are these her words?
is this her body?
her mind seems a subset
of her deadened soul

questioning the empty air
facing a numb mind
disbelief
but there's good to come

inevitability
uncontrollability
rushing down the 10 thousand mile hill
if she's lucky she won't feel a single thing

before the crunch.
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 2:28:00 AM

Friday, August 01, 2008

seeing yet unable to do anything
nor elicit any reaction nor response
feeling yet not believing
evergreen cycle of digesting emotions

what can i do
'cept leave it alone
crawling back into the shell
my cradle of dreams
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:32:00 AM

this is just pure
PHONE SMEX LAH



is it safe and worth it to buy from ebay?
...and dith babbled on at the insane hour of 12:01:00 AM